All I know is that last night, as I walked uptown from 42nd to my apartment on the UES, I passed no less than 12 subway stores, each broadcasting succulent glamour shots of this cheesy/saucy weapon of mass deliciousness.
But I was committed! I would not stop at one of the next 15 Subways I would pass. No! I would go home and gnash on my cardboard flavored Lean Cuisines. I would force my 100 calorie Tasty Kakes down my throat.
The posters whispered to me that the sandwich was only 5 dollars for a footlong.
NO! I mean, there was a tasty (looking) Lean Pocket waiting at home. I didn't need a gloppy, calorie filled, fat dripping sandwich to make my night.
But it had chicken AND pepperoni.
Me: Wow, chicken and pepperoni. Who knew?NO! NO! NO! I would not give in to temptation! It wasn't even smart or intriguing advertising! It just had a photo of the melty, toasted, sizzling sandwich. Glistening cheese bathed in chunky red sauce, slices of chicken breast deliciously caught in mid-dance with folded sheets of speckled pepperoni.
Ex-BF Paul (happy birthday!): I did. Deep down. I always knew.
Of course I bought it. With provolone and extra onions and olives. And ate of it I did.
But now I've had it! That's it. Just once. Now it can serve as a fond memory.
Like a dead husband.
Or a really good buffet.