Ahhh The Great Outdoors!

I've come to accept the fact that I am a bundle of contradictions. I absolutely love fashion, yet I prefer to wear as little clothing as possible. In the summer I can usually be found in the smallest pair of swim briefs I can get away with. I love people with fair skin, yet I feel completely exposed (and not in the good way) if I do not have a tan. I draw inspiration for my daily life from two completely contrasting decades: the disco-slut 70's and then the over the top 80's. 

But there is one contradiction of mine that I simply cannot get over. It has long been a running joke amongst my friends that if you want to score with me, just go for a walk with me. I have absolutely no clue why, but when I'm in nature my clothing just cannot seem to stay on me. To date I have had sex in several parks, a playground, a lake, and a beach.

I do not enjoy the great outdoors. I've never been camping, nor do I wish to go (and given my track record I would probably end up arrested for indecent exposure). I detest hiking. I'm not athletic. Apart from sunbathing (and apparently sex), I do very little outdoors. 

Am I simply an exhibitionist? (Probably.) Or is there some underlying cause for my clothes to come flying off my body as soon as I'm surrounded by trees and water? Who knows. One thing is for certain--it makes for interesting stories at parties. 

--JW