I loved my Norelco BodyGroomer. I used it all the time, especially prior to having any X-rated man-on-man naked time. Recently I used it to manscape the essentials, and just three days later I had exactly that kind of tryst. All was gong well as we were enjoying the sexuals, when suddenly we were interrupted by a dreadfully loud noise coming from my closet.
BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
“What the hell is that?”
I jumped out of bed and ran to the closet, having no idea what the sound could be. It got louder as I opened the door.
BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
Finally, I located the source of the racket. My Bodygroomer. After 3 days of sitting untouched on a shelf, with no one anywhere near it, somehow it had turned itself on.
Of course this happened while there was a trick in my bed. I was mortified. And then, it got worse.
BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
“What IS that?” called my fling.
BUUUUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
“Is that, like, a sex toy?”
“No-no,” I yelled, slamming the device against the shelves. No help. I flipped it over to remove the batteries. No battery cover. It’s rechargeable. And apparently, it was full of juice.
BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
“Do you need help?”
“No! I’m fine!” I called, and finally shoved the wicked thing in between some towels, with a huge pile of clothes on top of it.
buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Still audible, but better. I returned to bed.
“Sorry,” I muttered, “That was... ah... I have this… um… I’m not sure…”
He looked at me. “Do you HAVE any sex toys?”
7 hours later, long after the boy had left, the evil groomer stopped clamoring. I dug it out from under the towels, and promptly threw it away. However, I wouldn’t be surprised if, three days later, it somehow magically brought itself back to life again, and is currently sitting in some landfill in Staten Island, buzzing away.
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