Pop-Up Idiot

Much like the XTube video recently shown to me, which involved a man popping a pool ball out of his anus, there are certain things that will perpetually elude my comprehension. Enter: The Pop Culture Expert.

Watch just about any show on VH-1 or Logo and you'll inevitably catch a lower-third touting the funny-to-himself talking head as a pop culture "expert." How does one apply, and better yet, attain this position?


I originally planned to post a job listing for a Pop Culture Expert to Craigslist to evaluate what burn-outs might actually apply, but I'm not a sadist nor do I enjoy proliferating false hope in this outhouse economy.

The fact is, most of these people are experts in nothing.

Their styles are forces, their jokes aren't funny and they're overwhelmingly one-hit-wonders rejected from Celebrity Rehab or fat black women that producers are convinced can make anyone laugh simply by opening their mouths. Reality check: If you want a funny black lady get Wanda Sykes or Jamie Foxx in drag, not some poor man's Vaudevillian knock off. It's kind of like making some watch Friends with Chinese dubbing and expecting them to laugh, or making some watch Friends and expecting them to laugh.

Furthermore, if these people have their fingers on the pulse America, they're feeling it through the armpit. Exactly, it doesn't make sense.

Sorry Kennedy, you're over. You were done a long, long time ago and even your brief stint on the Game Show Network (they get ALL the talent) couldn't revive your career. No whammy, no whammy, no whammy...stop! Please, just stop.


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