Today I noticed an odd trend as I returned from buying my lunch, and this is a critique focused solely on those people who possess big umbrellas. Not the handheld kind you keep in your bag or backpack, but the larger, slimmer, taller ones.A lot of large umbrella owners, seem to treat their umbrellas like fancy canes, and not 10 dollar Duane Reade umbrellas. They walk with the umbrella leading them, clop step step, clop step step.
It wasn't just one person, either. I caught at least 5 large umbrella owners walking gingerly along the sidewalk like they're Lord UpperClassington, their chins slightly up, their gait changed by walking with their umbrella-cane.
And it makes me wonder: why are they doing this? Do they have visions in their mind that they are some classy member of the old-time aristocracy, and that their umbrella is a ten thousand dollar cane fashioned from extinct wood?
It's an umbrella, okay? And unless you're a doddering senior citizen, or someone with a war injury, there is no reason to treat your umbrella like a cane. And if you ARE one of the two aforementioned groups, perhaps you should purchase an ACTUAL cane. Just drop me a line and I'll hook you up with my Grandfather, who needs one to walk since he had his stroke.
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