Thursday, January 15, 2009

A better way for us all to get laid

After posting condom sex videos last night, and reading Ben's post about the silent subway fandango, and stopping by Fuck You, Penguin this morning - I've had sex, and our social difficulty with getting it when we want it, on the brain.

And I think I've finally discovered what we humans need:

A mating dance.

And it doesn't need to be a complex set of maneuvers, either. The human mating dance can be simpler than the cotton-eyed joe or the macarena.

Check out this Blue-Footed Booby, for instance.

All he has to do is do a mini kickline with his little blue feet, and he knows he's getting fucked. It's a done deal.

Imagine, Ben, if you could've just stood up on the train, kicked your feet up and wobbled from side to side, the dude would then spread his arms and grab a leaf in his mouth... and it'd be time for action, Jackson.

Just a thought. We should gather all the gays of NYC together to establish this mating dance.

Oh, and for fun, here's another video of the Blue-Footed Booby dance, with Mahna-Mahna as soundtrack.


  1. I already to this dance. Works like a charm...

  2. Interesting. I'll think on this too. I wonder what it would be? Something as unobscene as possible, no? I mean you could always just whip it out.

    I think our problem is that we're too cerebral, too complex. We wouldn't like it if someone just whipped it out. And for the same reason, we wouldn't like it if someone did the one prescribed action.

    They have to work for it, dammit!

    Which unfortunately means we do too.

  3. i dunno about you, but the spreading the wings is VERY similar to that whole stretching arm up & around manuever popular in movie theatres in the early 90's.

    It's how I got my first girlfriend to kiss me when I was 10 during TMNT!

    and it's still lame