Thursday, February 5, 2009
Goonies Never Say Hi
All through adolescence, I somehow never saw The Goonies. Oh, I watched movies when I was little - all the time! My mom even took me out of 4th grade early so I could go see Child's Play 3 with her during a matinee show. (No joke. She did.) I had no friends growing up - I was shy and fat - so all I did was rewatch all the free movies, from G to R-rated, playing on our stolen Pay-Per-View. We even had a copy of The Goonies in our house and I still managed to miss it! It was taped from TV, recorded right after Follow That Bird, the Sesame Street movie where Big Bird runs away. But as soon as B.B. was reacquainted with Bert, Ernie and Snuffleufugus, I would turn it off and just rewatch Follow That Bird. Who had time for The Goonies?
I am bugged CONSTANTLY about never seeing this movie. I even wrote about the annoyance here. It got to the point where I refused to see it - because fuck all of them, that's why!
But you know what happened this week? I finally broke down and let my boyfriend show it to me. He bought it on DVD just so he could show me the movie and end this reign of ignorance. I would have put up a fight, but he's cute, and I'm a sucker for that, so I sat down and watched it with him.
And how did I like it? It was okay.
That's it. Just okay. It was basically Indiana Jones, but with kids (and racial stereotypes). My life hasn't changed. Barack Obama is still President. Life continues.
What I really want now is to go back to all those people who shouted at me "You've never seen The Goonies?!?!" and yell at them, "You've never seen my finger before?!?" and then give them the finger.