Workin' for the man every night and day...

Gods, Justin, how you cut to the core of me. You're last post about pursuing the hippie life just brought up a topic that I've been thinking about a lot lately, particularly the part about taking away my job.

As many J+1 readers probably don't know, I work a corporate job for 40+ hours a week. The reason they don't know is because it's not an important part of my life... and even as I type that I have to ask myself why I spend so much of my time on something I ultimately don't consider my passion. To make money? To pay the bills? To feel secure?

I come from a background of various dabbled and creative pursuits--short film making, acting, painting, directing, writing, sexual nirvana, etc... But somewhere down the road, I decided to settle for jobs that were "normal" jobs. At first, I told myself that having secure jobs would allow me the money and the freedom to pursue other aspects of my life that I really enjoyed. However, as you settle into these types of jobs, you realize that the time and energy you have to spend in these other pursuits gets smaller and smaller, all the way to the (seeming) point of no return.

I had a "Come to Jesus" moment last week when one my coworkers who shares my fanatical enthusiasm for musical theatre told me about her experience with this job. "I told myself that I could do this job for one, maybe two years," she said, "and I could really work hard on my writing. But here I am, seven years later."

At this point, she grabbed my face in her aging hands and looked into my eyes. "You're young, Austin. This is the time of your life where you should be making plans and setting down that path to your ultimate goal. Don't do what I did."

I just stared back and couldn't say anything. I thought these moments only happened in movies. I went home that night with that image of her looking into my eyes stuck in my thoughts. What is my plan? How am I going to get there? Am I supposed to quit my job?

This is the contemplative state I am currently in. So I guess it's good to have J+1 to get the chance to type it all out. And to end this melodramatic moment, I give you this highly appropriate song. Enjoy, lovies. ;-)