You cannot defeat me.

Justin, when will you learn? You cannot simply dodge my brilliance. I enjoy particularly how you tried to go straight to sex appeal, completely changing the subject from your closet veganism. It is obvious to me--painfully so, in fact--who is the winner of the Ann Coulter Excellence in Media Award, and who is not. [answer: it is you. that was an insult.]

My concern now turns to your unfortunate use of the term 'tumor' to refer to me. I'm not sure if you know how metaphor works, but it's pretty damn stupid to infer that I'm going to kill you. Why would I do that when I can watch you squirm and suffer instead? I'd rather keep you darting back and forth, terrified, between my paws before growing bored with you and crushing you. But I suppose that's how you want it then.

Allow me to turn to the subject of this twink you've chosen to plug. First of all, he's barely a twink! Sure, he's got the requisite thinness and youth and looks and gay-spelled name, but he's 5'11"! He's hardly a pocket gay! And the fact that he's chosen to spell everything right on his website without resorting to boi, u, or 2 means that he's actually intelligent. I'm sorry, but this boy is too big and too smart to actually be a twink. Twink card revoked.

Second, why is he enlisting our help? He should get his boyfriend, Chef Gordon Ramsay, to bankroll his pet project.



Ooooh, that's right. We are getting played, playas. This kid is already famous. I'm not falling for it.

I voted anyway though. I mean, sex with a hot dude is sex with a hot dude.