I'm tweeting the world!

There's something really amusing to me about the fact that the first two adjectives Justin thinks of to describe me are "creepy" and "intelligent." If only I were a southern Democrat, maybe I could be president one day. Or at least get Monica Lewinsky to blow me. Although she'd probably be really old by the time that happened. Not to mention a woman.

Anyway.

I don't have a blog. I've always, sort of, wanted one, but never kept up when I tried. Almost everything in the world fascinates me or makes me laugh, so maintaining a blog to that effect would be a full-time job, and I'm already a student of politics, economics and philosophy (when I'm not peddling well designed consumer electronics.) Like that cliché action scene in a military movie, I'm forced to yell, "There's no time! Leave him!" lay down some cover fire, and keep moving forward.

Enter Twitter, stage left.

I first joined Twitter after US Airways Flight 1549 crashed into the Hudson, because it was twitterers who were the first to "report" on the issue, and me being me thought "why not?" Like most who don't use it, I didn't understand it at first, but like a Republican senator kissing a man for the first time, I quickly realized just how awesome it is. Here's why.

Being constrained to 140 characters is a liberating experience. I find myself so limited by length, that there's no real pressure to say something terribly deep or original. Sometimes it happens, but rarely. Most of the time I'm saying something as simple as what I want to name my children.

Let's pause though, because I know what you're thinking: "Who cares what this kid is doing?" and let me say, not only do I understand, but I agree. I don't care what I'm doing. That's why my one rule on Twitter is not to tell you what I'm doing unless it is something actually worth mentioning, and even then I try to make it fun to read. Twitter is my life - my brain - where I share cool/interesting/funny things I find, and in between try to keep you, my reader, entertained, sometimes by sharing my more ridiculous thoughts, other times by simply tweeting under the influence. This is how I share things with those who chose to listen. And apparently it's at least somewhat interesting: I've made two friends via Twitter, including our very own Justin. So go figure.

By reading my twitter, you find out what makes me laugh, you find out what inspires me, you find out how I like to use words, and you find out what I say when I'm drunk. It's sort of like that old saying, you get to know someone better spending 5 minutes in their room than by going on a two hour date with them. I realize that that's the premise of some shitty reality TV, but work with me here. You're going to get to know me much better by reading my twitter than by who I say I am.

This lesson I'm teaching you doesn't just apply to me, though. That guy you have a thing for, the one you can't seem to get out of your mind and that you would do anything to impress: if you really want to get to know him and he has a twitter, follow his ass. Sure, it's about as morally impressive as Facebook stalking (read: avoid sentences like, "I was reading your Twitter and [insert intrinsically embarrassing statement here]."), but It says a lot about a person. Even if they're intoxicated.