Monday, August 24, 2009

Is Staten Island Steve Hot or Not?

My boyfriend brought a term with him from the West Coast, one which I have rarely used myself, yet have wanted to for months now. That term, "Stupid Hot" he uses to describe guys who are just too hot for words. I'd use "gorgeous" or "godlike," but to me, "Stupid Hot" really fits the bill.

I am happy to finally have a guy on which I can use this description. His name is Steve and he is the featured guy this morning on Queerty. Even funnier is I think we're friends on Facebook and he's been to a few of my parties (maybe).

What shocks me is that Steve is not normally the type of guy I would find attractive. Mostly because I am not drawn to guys with enough muscle mass to choke a horse. This guy's chest is so thick that I can't imagine him being able to stand up straight (though I'm sure those tree trunk legs certainly help him where balance is concerned.)

I think I'm also giving him points for the guido-ish good looks he sports courtesy of his hometown of Staten Island - a place Long Islanders and New Jerseyans often deride as the place where we dump our garbage and unused hair gel. Despite all this derision, I think that Staten Islanders, Jersey boys, and Strong Islanders secretly all want to sleep with each other.

But what can I say? I think Steve is Stupid Hot. But I don't think that I could ever sleep with him, if that makes any sense. More likely, I think I find him hot in the way that if I could close my eyes and BECOME him, I would. To have those muscles would be pretty sweet. To put on skintight shirts or walk around in booty shorts and have my muscles pour out and drown everyone in a 20-mile radius would be a dream come true.

Of course I'm not about to spend hours in the gym a day to get it. Because I'm lazy and just want to wake up gorgeous.

But that's me. I'd be interested to see what YOU think of Steve.

Is he hot, or is he not?


1 comment: