Monday, August 3, 2009

Mr. Lance Black Goes to Court


So sorry for "outing" you as a go-go boy. Of course, it is nothing to be ashamed of. Lord knows if people spend long enough on my YouTube channel or Vimeo channel, they will find a ton of videos of you there.

And why shouldn't they? You're a good looking guy. I mean, if you didn't think so - would you be a go-go boy?

The best part is you can show these videos shamelessly. It makes you quite unlike other celebrities who may or may not be currently embroiled in a lawsuit over photos of them and an ex engaged in bareback sex that got leaked on the Internet.

You know, like our buddy Dustin Lance Black.

I came down HARD on Mr. Black a few months ago when the photos of his activities first came out. Namely because he was a moron. If you ever plan to be famous, do NOT allow yourself to be photographed or videotaped while making the beast with two (or three, or five...) backs.

I don't care what reason you think it's a good idea. You never know when you'll end up sleeping with a guy like the douchebag who found Michael Phelps at a party smoking weed and, instead of partying with him, took a pic and got him in deep shit.

And speaking of Mr. Black, in case the lot of you aren't up to date, Queerty reports that he is now suing his bitchy ex. This of course, is understandable, it IS a violation of privacy. But, as Queerty also reports, some of the claims Dustin makes are absurd.

For instance:

I mean, I don't know about all of you, but I had just about forgotten this whole Lance Black business. I'm too busy wondering if Barack Obama might actually raise taxes on me and my Middle Classmates. And how Mama Jacko will be treating Blanket, Prince and Paris.

So why (WHY?) would he bring this back out again? It's just going to make us remember the whole story. And then make us look at his claiming he didn't know he was having photos taken of him (because, you know, when I am getting it on and someone whips out a camera, I assume it's just because they're checking light levels for shits and giggles).

Dumb. Dumb dumb dumb.

Nevertheless, I look forward to see where this may go.



  1. Sort of along this same topic of naked pictures and what can be done with them, there's an interesting and disturbing story in GQ (see in which high school kids sent off naked pics to a "girl" online who then blackmails them for sex. I'm going to be so bold as to say it's never a good idea, simply because they can always come back to haunt you.

  2. Hmm, Well Justin I have to disagree here. I intend to be famous, and as a step in achieving this have every intention of accidentally making a few "amateur" (I don't care how amateur it is there will be butt lighting!) sex tapes to be released at various pivotal moments of my career.