Monday, August 10, 2009

Who do you feel like being today?


I don't think you know this about me, but I used to be a a rower. I was a member of my prep school's team for four years and during the summers would scull in a single shell, winning two New England championships with my school and one national championship on my own. So I know a little bit about being masculine.

Every boy here has fantasized about at least one of the guys on his high school football / basketball / baseball (/crew?) team, and for good reason. They're handsome, well built, masculine, and... well that's pretty much it. But that's enough to be a walking ball of sex. At least in the eyes of pubescent gay boys everywhere.

Being the gay jock though, is a very interesting experience. You find that gays want you to be masculine, and your teammates expect you to be the team flamer. As such, I've learned to do both very well, much to the amusement of my crew-mates. (Tip: if you want to make a straight guy laugh, all you need is a well placed "no homo" joke and you're pretty much set.)

As attractive as it can be to be masculine, I personally think it's fun to be a little flaming. My team certainly thought so. Being gay, and especially a gay jock, I was allowed to really be whoever I wanted to be, whenever I wanted to be it. When I'm a bit of a woman, my teammates weren't surprised and found it amusing, and when I was just another jock I was, well, just another jock. In doing so, I became very comfortable with who I am, never afraid to be as masculine or as "femme" as I feel like.

So do yourself a favor, dear reader, and stop caring. If you're trying to be masculine, it's probably pretty transparent. If you're masculine, great, if you're a bit of a queen, awesome. You should discover who you are, not force who you think you should be. Nothing is more of a turn off than insecurity, and few people are more fun than those who have fun with themselves.


  1. mmm defining yourself in terms of labels. if you were really an 'intellectual,' you wouldn't rely so heavily on stereotypes to build your own identity.

    and crew is for the uncoordinated.

  2. I really believe in the yin & yang of life. I'm made up of equal parts, some days I'm more one than the other and I'm at peace with it.

    Someone can't be one thing all the time, it's not being true to who you are

  3. @Anonymous: I was talking about playing with stereotypes to experiment with where you're comfortable. Did you even read the post? It's about how stereotypes shouldn't be used for their own sake. As far as defining yourself in terms of labels, how else are you supposed to define yourself? Isn't label just another word for adjective? Definitions are used to attain universal understanding, and labels are agreed upon archetypes that one can use to describe oneself to reach that understanding. Can they be blunt? Sure. But they're much more useful than we realize.

    @Jeremy: I'm not sure if you're criticizing me or simply commenting, so I'll just say that I wholeheartedly agree.