Tuesday, August 18, 2009

with 43 minutes to go...

Ha, Justin, bet you thought I'd forget. No, I just steal wi-fi from my neighbors, and we only get a signal on our porch. So needless to say, during tonight's storm I was incapable of updating.

I know on this blog and on anything gay related we spend a whole lot of time talking about sex, and along with it tops and bottoms, so I'm going to post a piece I wrote last week for y'all. Like I said at the start, I apologize for ever being redundant and hope only that I have a fresh perspective you will be interested in hearing.

This top/bottom dichotomy is driving me right up the wall. Maybe it's the swift introduction to the gay scene I've gotten, or maybe not, but I'm of the opinion that being on one side of the give/take fence is pretty limiting. So let me get on my soapbox right quick and I’ll say my peace. My view has always been that anything I'm willing to do to someone else I should be prepared, if not glad, to have done to me, and expect the same of my partner.

What complicates this is there's masculinity associated with being a top, some satisfaction associated with domination (which, really, if you've seen the power you have over people when you're in control of what's going on with their dick, I'd say that's just the same.) I'm no sociologist but I'd put money on that it comes from in straight sex (which weren't we all brought up on?) the man does all the penetration. I don't know too many couples who break out the strap-on and flip that up. (actually, scratch that, I know a LOT.) but tangent aside, that's not in the "norm."

So we go and apply that to ourselves, this idea of the top being a masculine role and the bottom a feminine. It’s a load of shit, really. We're all men here, and we need a different perspective on these things.

So sweet jesus/shakespeare/Random House, thank you for the word reciprocation. The sexual experiences that are most vivid to me, and regarded as "best" have all been situations in which we would flip, and were both glad to assume both roles.

I think a lot of guys are too insecure to try bottoming, or admit they like it. But no, really, dick is just fantastic. I'd hope you agree because spending all night playing with yours certainly won't get me off, and pleaser as I may be, I'm only going to enjoy pleasuring you when I know that soon enough you'd do the same.

Your thoughts?

(unknown photographer. thank you google, and myspace)


  1. Interesting statement.

    I think you're right, if you go back a few decades. There was an assumption of the "man" and the "woman" in the relationship based on who poked who, but I don't think that is true anymore. I know aggressive, butch bottoms as well as femme tops, and it doesn't speak to anything beyond their preferences.

    And ultimately, it does settle into that. With my initial lovers, there was a lot of flip-flopping going on, but you do learn what you like and don't like, or what you enjoy more, and you gravitate to those situations.

    I still consider myself somewhat versatile, because it's about who I am with, and what is going to work for them.

    And since I can orgasm from being penetrated, I don't feel like I am missing out on anything. :-)

  2. Well...
    I read forgot-his-name-maybe-it-was-you's post, about him being a virgin, and therefor not knowing "what side" he was on.
    I can relate to that, I'm a virgin too. but that's not the point here, wait, I came here to say something else...sorry it's late on the other side of the planet...
    Oh, that's it : I came here to say that one of the very few exes I had, a boy, whome I didn't really like, but he said he was in love, and back then, I was too kind and innocent to break his heart.
    anyway, that guy told me he was a bottom, and he'll never be a top, because -quoting - he "won't be able to respect" his man if he ever "took" him...
    Well, after all, it depends.
    I'm completely with ya when you talk about the absurdity ? (I don't know, in french it's "absurdité" anyway ^^) of comparing, or relating our "intimate behavior" to the heterosexual one.
    your (yeah, I say "your" cuz I'm algerian, so, we didn't really get there yet) ancestor (yeah, I'm young, kinda like Luke in your traumatising story ^^ -kidding) fought for our right to be different, it's really just insecurity if someones still feel the need to idetify themthelves to heterosexuality.

    Anyway, I think I talked to much, and in a oh-so-crappy english, but hey, I speak 3 languages, it's only normal if sometimes I get confused!

  3. needless to say it took me 15 minutes and a gread headache to manage to crap that much on your wall...

    No, no...please...don't thank me, it was a pleasure...

    oh, and : learn french! it's a wonderful language!! (who am I kiddin...)