Friday, August 14, 2009

You think it's hard to disappear?

Justin,
How strange, that on the day that I leave you choose to post about boats, like I haven't been tweeting all day about locks and dams, trying to educate my poor, unwilling followers on the history of the lock and dam system while I'm traveling up the Mississippi River with the people who gave me life.
How very very strange.
But I would remind you, dear Justin, that this earth is 75% covered in water, and that although large, that tanker was lost in something so large that it's almost impossible for our minds to fully comprehend. There are 361.132 Million square kilometers - or 3,887,192,500,000,000 square feet - of surface space in the ocean. So, even if our tanker of choice was a whole kilometer square, it would only take up .00000000277% of the possible space it could occupy. So the answer to "how do you lose an ocean tanker?" is that it's actually quite easy, if it doesn't want to be found.
Interestingly, it would be about as likely for you to randomly run into me in this country we live in, which I'm afraid you're going to have to do because, sadly, this is my goodbye.
I didn't really get to say a lot of the things I wanted to, but don't despair, because if you beg Justin and Justin begs me/provides me with sexual favors, I'm sure you'll see me again on here, providing you with more of my wordy, over-educated point of view. Heck, maybe you'll get to read about how I lose my virginity, seeing as how interested you seemed to be in it.
Fortunately for you, unlike the aforementioned tanker, you can easily find me anytime at http://twitter.com/YouLukas - like YouTube but way, way better (although there is less Susan Boyle).
Thank you, dear reader, and thank you, Justin. It was a great time.

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