Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Hot chick kicks Kirk Cameron's ass

Do you remember Kirk Cameron? Well, I kinda do. I think he may have been related to DJ Tanner from Full House. He was also in some other stupid sitcom back when I pined for Scott Baio and watched Charles in Charge and wished for the knowledge of how to masturbate.

Unfortunately for us, Kirk hasn't faded into the woodwork or committed suicide like so many other of our lost childhood celebrities. No, instead he's mainlining crazy juice and has aligned himself with the Christian movement, which is seeking to rule out evolution so we can raise our progeny to be fucktards with nothing standing in the way.

Kirk recently reappeared with this cute, demonic video where he talks about a free version of Darwin's Origin of the Species that will be given out to the top 50 universities. The catch is a 50 page forward that somehow connects Hitler to evolution, and then maybe finds commonalities between that and the anal rape of three-legged puppies.



My favorite part is that Kirk evokes the coolness of Zack Morris and A.C. Slater by sitting on a chair backwards, like the cool kid in school... back in the early 90s. Someone should tell him that God didn't create chairs to be used that way, and he might as well be taking a dump on an open bible.

The scariest part is that this video almost has 100,000 views on it already. That means that there are at least 100,000 fucking morons who understand how to use a web browser. Or 100,000 smart people who are having a great laugh at Kirk's expense.

If you want to read the 50-page intro, you can download the claptrap here.

But why should I continue to take potshots at Mr. Cameron when there's this sexy foreign vixen who does a MUCH better job? Listen to her. And marvel at her pretty, curly hair.

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