MTV VMA Shazzamity - Totes WTF!

Well let me get right to it then, since I know ya'll wanna know what totes happened. Ha! As if you don't know...

So as you all know, our beloved New York City was the set for the ultimate shazzamity last night for what was the MTV Video Music Awards.

Kicking off the show was none other than Madonna herself who quickly bored me to pieces with her lengthy speech on her shenanigans with the King of Pop Michael Jackson. It was more "Me me me!" than anything else, as she began, "Michael Jackson was born in August 1958. So was I. Michael Jackson grew up in the suburbs of the Midwest. So did I. Michael Jackson had eight brothers and sisters. So do I. " Yawn! Great way to make it all about you, Madge! While she did redeem herself in the end recalling a "moment" she had with MJ, I felt that the speech was rather lengthy and could have been somewhat edited. Oh Madge!

The stage then opened up to dancers covering all of MJ's famous moves, leading up to the highly anticipated moment of the night, Janet Jackson coming out to perform their 1995 duet 'Scream' as Michael sang and danced on a screen behind her. While I so was looking forward to Janet's performance, I felt somehow gypped as she lip synched her way to what seemed like a 30 second revue. Again, I expected more from Janet and felt that somehow Madonna's lengthy speech overshadowed Janet's performance in its entirety.

Of course, the biggest surprise of the night came when Kanye West rushed to the stage during Taylor Swift's acceptance speech after winning (gag!) 'Best Female Video.' The King of Poop took the microphone from a bewildered Taylor to suggest well that Beyonce should have won the award instead. Of course, at this point the audience heckled Kanye and he walked off leaving poor young Taylor unable to finish her speech. My sources tell me that Kanye was then later removed from the event by security but that Taylor Swift spend a good few minutes crying her eyes out backstage. Awww, what's the matter Taylor? Kanye got your airtime?! Wah wah wah.

In response to his behavior, Kanye did issue the following apology on his blog this morning:

“I’m sooooo sorry to Taylor Swift and her fans and her mom [Andrea].

I’m in the wrong for going on stage and taking away from her moment! Beyonce’s video was the best of this decade!!! I’m sorry to my fans if I let you guys down!!!!! I’m sorry to my friends at MTV. I will apologize to Taylor 2mrw. Welcome to the real world!!!! Everybody wanna booooo me but I’m a fan of real pop culture!!! No disrespect but we watchin’ the show at the crib right now cause I’m still happy for Taylor!!!! Boooyaawww!!!! You are very talented!!!!! I gave my awards to Outkast when they deserved it over me… That’s what it is!!!! I’m not crazy yall, I’m just real. Sorry for that!!! I really feel bad for Taylor and I’m sincerely sorry!!! Much Respect!!!!!"

WTF! What do you guys make of that?! He's just freaking crazy, I say. Why I'd punch that pigeon in the face! Mmmkay!

In what later seemed to me like the only staged shazzamity (refer to the previous Eminem/Bruno incident at the MTV Movie Awards), 'Video fo the Year' winner Beyonce brought Swift back to the stage at the end of the night to finish her acceptance speech. Thereby crowning Beyonce as the ultimate Saint of All Sorrows. Oh gee shucks, thanks B! You saved the world yet again!

Other highlights for me included Pink's hair raising performace as she dangled from a trapeze, while she sang 'Sober,' Britney Spears winning Best Pop Video for 'Womanizer' and Jay-Z and Alicia Keys capping off the show with an epic rendition of his new 'Empire State of Mind' tribute to New York. Gio was loving himself some Alicia Keys! Chile, she can wail like the best of them and I loved every single minute of that performance. But what was up with Lil Mama coming on stage during the end of that performance. Did Jay-Z motion for her or did she go onstage uninvited? I am sure someone somewhere told Lil Mama off after that shazzamity. What was up with that, y'all?!

And of course, Beyonce turned it out with "Single Ladies" hamming it up and milking evey moment for what it was worth but why was I waiting for none other than our very own Shane Mercado to make an appearance. Seriously, where was Shane and why hasn't B. asked him to do the routine with her yet. We're all waiting, Miss Thang. Better put on a ring on it, Knowles!

Stay tuned for my rant and rave on the love/hate of my life GaGalicious herself. That bitch deserves a posting of her own. Mmmmkay!

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