Wednesday, September 9, 2009

There's a cockroach in my cabinet

My boyfriend often tells me that I am "a dude." He likes this masculine aspect of me. It means that I'm kinda hulking when I walk. I don't shave sometimes and get hella stubbly because of it. I drink juice out of the container. My apartment STILL looks like a bachelor pad.

But there is one thing about me that is NOT 'dude-like'. And that is my intense skeevy-jeevy-ness around bugs. Now, a bug on the street or sidewalk in front of me might get a "yuck!" from me, but what really scares the crap into my pants is a bug at close-range.

And I am currently being tortured by this. A few weeks ago I opened my medicine cabinet and a small baby roach scurried by. I screeched, but the fucker was so fast that I wasn't able to kill it. This continued every day for a week. I would open the cabinet, roach ran by, I tried to kill it, but to no avail.

Finally, one day, I killed it. That was the end of THAT chapter!

Until, a week and a half later, I opened my medicine cabinet and another, tiny roach scurried across and INTO the wall. Another week went by and finally Joe was able to off the motherfucker, emerging from the bathroom like he was the Terminator.

Again, success!

Until this morning, I opened my medicine cabinet, and there scurried another baby roach.

This is getting ridiculous.

What the roaches are doing in there, I'll never know. It's not like I keep anything wet or moist in there. So unless they're eating my hair product, I'm pretty much stumped on why they keep sending out one representative to scope the place out. And why just one? What is it DOING back there? Trying to find its deceased brethren? Coming to see if the stories of "a big, stubbly god that brings the light to the darkness once in the AM and once in the PM" are true?

Next up, Joe and I plan to empty out the medicine cabinet of hair stuff and toothpaste and to clean it out. If this doesn't work, I will be alerting my landlord, who will hopefully come by and tear out the medicine cabinet and nuke the shit out of whatever god awful village of vermin is living behind the place where I keep my dental floss.

1 comment:

  1. Are you new? Welcome to NYC.

    Get some of these:

    and a bottle of this:

    It doesn't get REALLY fun til you see a mouse. Dude.