JPMORGAN CHASE, SUCK IT

Now I may work in finance and people often say I work for a "bank" (I don't really), but probably the most valuable thing I've learned from working for a "lender" (it's a lot more complicated than that and I swear I don't kick people out of their houses) is that you should ALWAYS read your loan documents. You might be shocked to realize that some people fail to thoroughly (or have their legal counsel thoroughly) read their loan documents, whether it is a $100 million loan on an office building in NYC or a credit card with a $5,000 limit.

I do. And today in the mail I received a one pager from JPMorgan Chase informing me of various changes to my credit card agreement. What changes are these, you might ask? Oh, well probably only thanks to some law passed by Congress recently, they summarize it in a nice little table. It still doesn't change how insanely punishing the changes are. Here's my interpretation of the summary of what is changing as of January 1, 2010 (they JUST met the 30 day advance notice deadline btw):


1. We may use whatever interest rate we damn well please.
2. We are increasing a lot of fees by a lot of percent.
3. We are adding an entire new section of "Variable Rates" to your account. See #1.
4. The standard APR (the interest rate I agreed to when I got the card) is out the window.
5. You may be in default on this card because of being in default on any other account with any related company to Chase.

Ohhh, but I have a right to reject! I can reject everything except how they contact me. I just have to write a letter. Ask me for details if you too are a Chase customer.