Thursday, April 30, 2009
The thing is, when it comes to making out with someone, Scruff can get in the way depending on the length. No one wants to walk away from what should have been a great makeout session with a big red face full of bruises and scratches. You were kissing, not dukeing it out. If a guy hasn't shaven for just a couple of days, then it's not scruff. It's stubble, and while that looks hot, it feels like HELL on your lips and face. fortunately for me I now have a protective layer of hair. Now, when one has such a layer, and the scruff is longer, lo! It actually is soft and not so bad for kissing. Food for thought.
"A kiss is a lovely trick, designed by nature to stop speech when words have become superfluous."
The reason I bring this all up is because InteractiveMale is hosting a contest for the next several months (the deadline is in October) Where you could win 10,000 fucking big ones for submitting the best makeout video! Not to toot my own horn or anything but I'm quite good at this kissing thing. I also am pretty good at using FinalCut Pro. The sad thing is if i DID win this thing, I'd still be nearly 5,000 short of paying off just ONE term at artcenter. Out of eight so far. I die.
The sweet part (sweeter than personal gain, I mean, and kissing a hot guy-presumably) is that for every video submitted, IM will donate $5 towards marriage equality, and for every photo submitted, $1. Webcams will be given away for best kiss photographs. Sluttyy......
But anyway, I say let's all find someone to make out with and may the best kisser win!
Check out the details at www.BigGayKiss.com
In Plus One Jason's last post he mentioned that Rufus Wainwright - my singing god among men - has recently grown a beard. I can't tell you how upset this makes me. In a world where people protest things like equal gay rights or the lives of pigs, I go for something far simpler: I don't like facial hair.
Why? I just don't like it! I feel like people are hiding parts of their faces underneath it. A majority of the guys I know with facial hair actually, in my opinion, look far hotter when they are shorn. In fact, while looking at them, I can see their actual face almost through the hair - rendering the mustache or beard a costume piece they strapped on behind their head.
Granted, I have fallen for the facial hair trap a few times. I once upon a time did the Long Island D-bag chin strap. I also tried out the goatee and the goatee-with-mustache. Each one was a disaster, and after being blind to the obvious for a few months, I promptly did away with the hair and was commented for my return to normalcy.
I'm not opposed to ALL facial hair, though. I don't mind tasteful, sexy stubble. But full on beards? They look strange! I understand some people wear them to look older (because I've seen them shaven and they look positively barely-legal). But isn't there another way to look older? Bart Simpson used platform shoes and a small dog - I recommend the same here.
Even worse than the beard is the mustache. If it's connected to a trim goatee, again, I can sometimes see it as sexy. But a straight up mustache? They're as rare as hen's teeth (or hen's mustaches). I have never seen a mustache that looks right to me. Is that a me-only thing? Has anyone ever seen a respectful looking mustache on anyone under 40?
I don't expect you to keep your body so hairless that I can grease you up and bowl you down a lane to get a strike, but, really, all that facial hair is just gonna be itchy and scratchy, and it's blocking a good 25% of your beautiful face!
Instead of speaking solely for myself, I did a random Instant Message poll. And here are some answers I got in regards to my question "What do you think of facial hair?"
Plus One Alum, Shawn Hollenbach: "What do you have to hide?"Phew. Okay, so at least I'm not alone in the feeling. Keep it trim, keep it tame, and it might work. But mustaches are odd, full on beards are nesty and strange!
Plus One Alum, Clint Osterholz: "You know how people shave their pubic hair completely off? Well that's fucking stupid. Trimming it is fine, but shaping it or shaving it off looks retarded. Same thing's true for facial hair. If you're going to have it, fine, but your face isn't a fucking blank easel. Keep a trimmed, neat beard. I won't fuck you, but god knows some tard with a steel wool fetish might."
Future Plus One, Chris Haigy: "Um... facial hair is, like all things, fine in moderation (unless it's a mustache). Stubble is okay, as is a light beard, but when you can't see skin underneath your hair, you've gone too far. Goatees are just fine and I actually sort of like them, but if you can braid it, it's too much. We all saw what happened to SoaD.
Mutton chops should not be worn unless you're auditioning for a role on the remake of dark shadows, but sideburns look very nice and I have them. No facial hair should ever be ironic. Otherwise you're not just a hipster, you're a douchebag."
Next Week's Plus One, Rob Scheer: "I think occasionally a guy will look MUCH better with facial hair than without (e.g.: I think John Krasinski in that new movie "Away We Go" looks kind of hot with his new beard, but he looks kind of doofy on "The Office").
On the same token, sometimes it goes the opposite way -- it all depends on the type of face they have and how well the hair meshes with it. For example: when boyish twinks try to grow facial hair / goatees / beards to look more mature, it usually looks disastrous.
Not even joking -- When I first met my boyfriend (who, for the record, I think is adorable), I didn't find him the least bit attractive for the first month or so that I knew him because he had ridiculous facial hair. It wasn't until he shaved a few weeks after I met him when I realized, "hmmm. This boy's actually cute.""
Upcoming Plus One, Dan Leveille: Short hair can be sexy on the right type of person, but beards are gross. Mustaches are gross too.
Why don't YOU weigh in while you're at it?
My good friend Patrick and I went to see Rufus Wainwright yesterday evening at the House of Blues in Anaheim’s Downtown Disney. The HOB is probably my favorite venue to see a live show at. It’s on the small side, but big enough to be comfortable housing artists like Rufus with large draws.
Rufus’ sis, Lucy Wainwright-Roche was the opener. She had a high, sweet voice when she sang, and a hilariously self-deprecating sense of humor when she spoke candidly to the audience.
“I’ve spent the last two years living out of my car on the road…. So I have a lot to say. No, it’s true… I’m about 85 to 90 percent weirder than I was before….. So tonight I am coming to you at my most unusual.”
She talked about facebook in between a couple of her songs.
“And for those of you who don’t know what it is, it’s this website where you can become… basically fake friends with real people….. You can like, buy someone a drink. Fake drink, but for a real dollar. SO this next song is about trying to keep reality alive!”
She was a real sweetheart. Her father, Loudon Wainwright III came onstage for a surprise appearance with her to uproarious applause. “Hey!” Lucy said, “You didn’t clap that much for me!”
When Rufus finally came onstage, he was wearing his Mickey Mouse ears with his name sewn onto the hat. My joy was temporarily interrupted when some jackass wedged himself in front of Patrick. I said to him
“Excuse me, but that was rude, we’ve been standing here for over an hour.”
“It’s called general admission, buddy,” replied the asshole.
I said “yeah but there’s someone shorter than you behind you, and that’s RUDE.”
He looked back at Patrick for a second and moved over a bit, but of course he was still in the way. Then a group of tall gay men further up invited us to stand in front of them since we’re shorter. Karma.
My body can't handle getting angry at strangers. My blood starts pumping way too fast, I worry that one day someone will make me angry enough to have a heart attack.
The rest of the show was beautiful. Rufus has a beard now, and seeing him live for the first time made him just that much sexier. He’s just my kind of man. He sang all by himself, just his gorgeous voice and the piano, or guitar, depending on the song. At times his sister would come back and help out, and for the final encore, Lucy and Loudon both joined in for one of Loudon’s songs. The only issue I had was that he forgot his own lyrics about four or five times, and we all laughed but it's like... that's what soundcheck is for! I personally think he skipped soundcheck in favor of doing the park all day, but he insisted during the show that this wasn't the case because he didn't want to tarnish his childhood memories of Disneyland.
All in all he was very down to earth and relaxed. It's very important for an artist to connect with the audience. If a performer goes an entire show without saying anything to us but "thank you" that's a bad show in my opinion. It's the magic delusion of a closeness with the performer that makes everything much more amazing.
What I have here is an incomplete set list as some of the songs were older ones that I was unfamiliar with:
Going to a Town
The Art Teacher
Not Ready to Love
Cigarettes and Chocolate Milk
Leaving for Paris
The thing is that now I really need to go back to Disneyland. The Downtown shopping area has already grown, reminding me that I’ve been away for far too long.
Can you smell that in the air, my compatriots? That smell of freedom and privileges? Well take off your Swine Flu face mask and get a good whiff! It's the third greatest day in Gay History!
First off, in case you missed it - the House of Reps passed the Matthew Shepard hate crimes act... it now goes on to the Democrat-pwned Senate for vote (and Obama has ALREADY said he will sign this into law).
Next, that evil, ignorant woman Virginia Foxx got her ass handed to her not once but twice last night!
First by my secret lover, Keith Olbermann
Next, by a bunch of folks on Hardball
And she, in turn, and probably because she's gotten more press from this than anything good she's ever done, issued this "apology":
"It has come to my attention that some people have been led to believe that I think the terrible crimes that led to Matthew Shepard's death in 1998 were a hoax. The term 'hoax' was a poor choice of words used in the discussion of the hate crimes bill. Mr. Shepard's death was nothing less than a tragedy and those responsible for his death certainly deserved the punishment they received. The larger context of my remarks is important. I was referring to a 2004 ABC 20/20 report on Mr. Shepard's death. The 20/20 report questioned the motivation of those responsible for Mr. Shepard's death. Referencing this media account may have been a mistake, but if so it was a mistake based on what I believed were reliable accounts."There you go. So it's not HER fault. But she's sorry she trusted the news. Too bad she didn't say she saw it on Fox News...
Of course, not everything can be great. Those morons over at NOM released a new ad... but it's not half as sensational as The Gathering Storm... and it's full of even more ignorant babble.
But what does it matter? With New Hampshire, and this hate crimes act, and the way the media will turn like a beast on an ill-wisher... The tide is changing, lovers. I'm so excited, so happy, and so not even thinking about Swine Flu!
I spoke too soon... even MORE good news:
GAY MARRIAGE BILL PASSES THE SENATE IN MAINE!
Let's celebrate! We need some music... hmmmm...
Helen Reddy - the stage is yours!!!
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
In his last post, Justin talked about the ups and downs going on right now in our movement: a promising victory in New Hampshire, and the shockingly evil speech from Virginia Foxx on the hate crimes bill. (LOVED the joke about her name, btw).
Matt Shepard's death was a hoax?
I'd like to see that cunt tell that to his mother's face. Some people are truly, unbelievably monstrous. Who do these people think they're fucking kidding? I fail to see what the fuss is about passing a law that punishes people for harming others based on fundamental parts of who they are, because they're different. I love that the people who have a problem with this are people who belong to a race and class that dominate society in general anyway and don't have to look behind them when they leave a bar too late at night or find themselves in an unfamiliar part of town.
Whatever happened to love thy neighbor?
In what conscience can these people still claim to be christian?
The great part, the thing that makes this all easier to bear.... is that you can hear the desperation behind their hurtful words. These lies are getting more and more outrageous because they know they're losing clout. The more desperate our opponents become, the more they are going to unwittingly help open the eyes of everyone to how ridiculous this homophobia truly is.
This is a beautiful time, truly, because now more than ever, we get to see amazing acts of solidarity for our cause by our straight allies, and in the media everywhere. Recently, Bishop Richard Malone from Maine spoke in Augusta at the public hearing for the Equal Marriage Bill, opposing, of course. Here's the thing though- prior to his speech, he had sent out a letter to his followers detailing his position, and what he would be saying at the hearing. He told those in attendance that he was speaking "On behalf of the 200,000 Roman Catholics in Maine opposing the equal marriage bill."
Thanks to the advance notice, he'd better make it 199,999....
In case you're not bangin' on the beltway (or reading any gay blogs like me and my vast network of instant message informants) you may have not heard that Barack Obama pushed Congress to pass hate crime legislation.
And now they are! Even better? The New Hampshire Senate just approved gay marriage today! Granted, it still has to be pushed through the Gov... but I'm going to go ahead and say it seems promising.
But with the good comes the bad. The bad in this case is this stupid bitch that is now on my Hope She Gets Caught Seducing Children by Fox News, While Also Getting Horrible Oral Herpes list: North Carolina Republican Congresswoman Virginia Foxx.
She just looks so innocent and grandmotherly, doesn't she? Like she'd show up at your house with a shoefly pie and a crocheted throw for your couch. Well she WOULD do that, except the pie would be laced with arsenic and she'd be hiding ten gay bashers behind the throw.
Think I'm overdoing it? Listen to the harpy talk about how MATTHEW SHEPARD'S LAW IS A HOAX:
No, fuck YOU Congresswoman Virginia Foxx - it's not our fault your name sounds like it came from a Vivid porno.
I'm just waiting to see what's going to happen with this one. Sure, we beat the shit out of Miss California for saying gays shouldn't marry... but that's ignorance versus an INTENTIONAL ASS-FUCKING OF THE FACTS.
Fury. That's the word for this feeling! Gosh it's been a whole ten minutes since I last felt it (I watch Fox News on a daily basis, just to get me boiling.)
Dear Virginia Foxx,
Fuck you and I hate you. Don't fight off hate crime legislation by saying a gay man was beaten to death for different reasons, and then calling the law a hoax. Seriously - why invest all that time and dishonesty into blocking equal protections for everyone?
Anyone want to Google bomb her? I think "Cunty Idiot" would work. Who wants to help the cause?
OH! And you know who might help our cause? Howard Stern, who just voiced his support for gays, and marriage in general today!
Sex is a fascinating topic in the social context, isn't it? I've found myself increasingly interested in sexuality in art. In the past year I've done some new work with sex as the theme, and have had to explain and justify them to my parents. They were not a fan of the piece i posted here yesterday with the guy with all the arms around him. My mother actually called it porn. I had to explain that since there was no rock hard penis actually in the picture, this was not an image intended to make one's penis rock hard. Therefore, not porn.
Over three years ago, I did my first gay work, and arguably my first truly personal work.
That was the tryptich featuring the prince and his knight in shining armor (me and my boyfriend at the time). That one was an experience. It began as a cute idea, something I thought would look pretty and tell a nice story. I was doing it as a late assignment for one of my classes, I'd gotten a grade extension on basis of my personal life having been a mess earlier in term, and was painting this thing over winter break. When my parents saw the final panel with the (excuse me, tasteful!) sunset kiss, they immediately questioned whether it were "appropriate."
I was shocked. My parents made coming out an extremely positive experience for me at sixteen. My mother is a figure skating coach, and she knew I was going to be gay since my silver leotard days in front of the camera. Actually she sounded like Margaret Cho's mom when she told me she knew "When you were born!" greeeaat. My dad took some more time getting used to it, he's always been more conservative and prude-ish than he'd like to think of himself, but he never gave me any shit. He quietly came to terms and eventually I think realized that our relationship was better than it ever had been when he got used to talking about it. I digress....
Suddenly my cute painting series wasn't so superfluous. It was a big middle finger to anyone daring me to play it safe and compromise my vision, now or ever. It was asking why the fairy tale depicted needed to be scandalous at all, just because two men were involved. Aren't we allowed our fairy tales?
Well, that tryptich received much approval from my instructor when I turned it in, and in fact was the favorite piece in my third term review later that year, and still one of my strongest compositions to date. The feeling I got from that project also made me realize that I wasn't content with painting pretty for pretty's sake. I needed something more real and important and raw for subject matter from here on out.
Later, I'd like to tell you all about how the show last night went! I had a marvelous time, but now I've got to run and get my hearing aids back from the audiologist. Hasta Luego, amigos!
Sure some of us might date a porn actor, while others would stay far, far away. But turns out this isn't the worst of a porn actor's fears. Turns out it can ruin your career/life too!
Much like your mother may have cautioned you in the past: "Don't do a double dicking orgy scene, trust me, some day you may get named Mr. Panama, and they'll find that video of you getting plowed bareback while getting a cream pie in the face... and they won't like it."
Yup! Turns out porn has the power to destroy you (who knew!?). This is why so many actors stay far away from it (even though half of them will never get anywhere near Broadway - let alone a dinner theater in Orlando - so why waste a body as hot as that?
Or anyone who thinks they might ever want to serve in public office - ESPECIALLY if they're going to run on the Republican anti-gay ticket (they can just hold on til they get their position and a Page or two... too soon?).
Whether it's helping you make car payments or get that TV you always wanted, porn is a quick buck that can come back to fuck you in the ass (and not pay you that second time, either.)
First we have Mr. Panama, Ryan Oliver who just lost his title as Mr. Panama when it was discovered that he did some jackoff scenes for Sean Cody. At first I thought "the moron!" But, after looking at the photos, I'm happy he sacrificed his sash so that I'd have some good alone-time material.
But he wasn't the first man nailed by porn this year, either!
Just a few months ago, Paul Donahue, a college wrestler, found himself dismissed from his wrestling team when they found out he, too, had gone "gay for pay". They got him on a technicality (lame) (an NCAA regulation which states that athletes are not allowed to use their images for commercial gain.)
What's interesting is that neither of these guys has gone the full distance - getting fucked or fucking. Nope. They're just naked. Clearly that's some sort of crime or something.
So there you have it, folks. Be careful where you strut your stuff and, as you bend over to give everyone a good look at your nether regions, just be sure you weren't planning on a Presidential run.
ADDED BONUS FOR THOSE NOT AT WORK (feel free to bookmark and come back later tonight... it's worth it!)
For some NOT SAFE FOR WORK shots, check out Ryan Oliver's Panamanian Canal right here.
And for more NOT SAFE FOR WORK shots, dream about Paul Donahue body-slamming you right here.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
I'm going to make my second post today here something of a quickie as I am still throwing together some last minute things involving my first art show tonight. More on that later.
My friend Jesse posted this video on facebook today and I couldn't resist sharing. Who the fuck knew Julia Roberts was so funny?
Watch more AOL News videos on AOL Video
I love her pottymouth!
So tonight is my first art show, and while I've sold work before on commission, this will be my first chance to sell paintings, including some very personal work. I do hope that even in this troubled economy, some rich daddy will want to buy my paintings. I'm ready to part with some of my favorite work in order to clear the way and motivate myself to create even better work to fill the space they would leave. Also.... if I sell just ONE painting tonight, I'm off to Europe. Hasta Luego, America!
(Tuition? What tuition?)
So here are the pieces that I will be showing tonight:
Awakening... oil on canvas, 30x40 (2006)
The Princes Tryptich.... 3 acrylic on wood panels (total size 36x24)
(since this photo, it's been updated slightly for the show. this was 2005)
Portrait with Squid... Oil on Canvas, 23x30 (2008)
Urban Orgy... Acrylic on Wood 14x18 (2008)
SO wish me luck!
Maybe you remember it?
I called it the HUMP DAY SEX POLL. And it was just what it sounds like. Every Wednesday I put up a question and people submitted their answers. Being it LiveJournal, there were plenty of vocal people who browbeat me for my questions or my answers. But whatever, I lived through it.
So I'm going to give it a try here (and yes, I know it's only Tuesday... deal with it!). Let's see if Blogger can muster up some interaction the likes of LiveJournal (skeptical!)
Readers - weigh in in the comment sections to the following question:
I'm keeping it open ended because I don't think a set number of answers will do the trick.
So comment, won't you?!
This (along with the VGL MASC UB2 stuff I mentioned yesterday….. and reasons of personal integrity…) is why I no longer frequent skeezy “dating” sites. Stupidity. Why is it that these men don’t seem to realize that a cock pic is forever? That, thanks to the internet, it will never go away. YEARS from now, your wife or husband or person who holds your child ransom may come across this bit of gold from your past, and they will certainly not thank you for it. Actually, the person who holds your child ransom might thank you for it.
Which brings up the subject of porn. Any excuse, really. I can’t even tell you how many guys I’ve recognized from the bar whilst having a wank. I sort of stop for a bit, thinking “don’t these guys get it?” It’s cash at the price of your social standing. Actually that depends on who you ask. There are two camps- one which says you’re trashy for having done porn, and the other that salutes you.
I remember that one of my friends a few years ago was online, hunting for some porn, and much to his dismay he came across a familiar face- not some guy from the bar but someone who we were both well acquainted with. He was the poster boy for “Twinks for Cash.” Now…. If you’re going to bestow the image of your ass getting pounded forever to the world in cyberspace, why not get paid a little more money for it and do it for a reputable company? (reputable is an interesting word here, I know).
The poor guy was mortified when our friend asked him about his past with the penis posse. He had no idea that his face was still plastered on the front page, it was just something he’d done years ago to make a little extra cash after he moved to L.A. but that’s the thing about porn.
Honestly, don’t get me wrong here. I actually commend porn models for the simple reason that it’s a dirty job but someone’s gotta do it. Without them, we’d just be left to our imaginations and how terrible would that be??
What you send from your phone is far more public than you would think... so be sure not to text or pix message anyone who could be a huge d-bag.
The first site is called Texts from Last Night and it is a very good reason why you should flush your cell phone down a toilet the second you get drunk at night. Because anything you text can and WILL be used against you.
This blog is what happens when Twitter and Overheard in NY get drunk and hook up together - people send text messages to be broadcast live to millions of bored 9-5ers like me.
What's funny is that I expected a lot of misspelled mumbo jumbo (read, like the drunken texts I send). What I've actually found is absolute poetic brilliance, the kind that only Captain Morgan can coax out of you. In fact, smart creative writing teachers will direct their students to this site for prompts. I feel like each of these texts is a novel waiting to happen (or at LEAST a short story)
Here are some representative samples of brilliance (please note, the number is the area code of the texter so two different numbers are an exchange):
(760): can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?Needless to say, I am still waiting for when one of my legendary texts appear there. Knowing the things that I send out, it isn't a far stretch that I might ALREADY be up there.
(760): oh geez, wrong person.
(817): She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
(1-817): OMG. What did u say?
(817): I told her I did too.
(818): Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
(212): dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
(1-212): idk but i think it had a face
(546): Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
(248): is swine flu sexually transmitted?
(313): Ha no, why?
(248): sriously ive never had a hangover this bad
But at least there is anonymity (most of the time) on this site. On the next site there is NO anonymity whatsoever.
This second NOT SAFE FOR WORK site is one that I will never end up on. Why? Because I don't have an iPhone (and that's the ONLY reason).
Guys with iPhones is, again, just what you would think it is. It's a site full of photos of guys holding their iPhones. Unfortunately for them, most of them are practically, or entirely naked.
Yep. This is why your mother always told you to look both ways before crossing the street, and to photoshop your face out of your full body nudes. If you don't, and your iPhone is in full view, that random you're sending cock n butt pix to could very well share your glory with the rest of the Internet. And before you ask if these people are submitting their OWN photos, I will answer you: possibly sometimes. All I know is that a blog buddy of mine found himself there, and he didn't submit the pix...
And so I'm torn. Do I condemn Texts from Last Night and Guys with iPhones? Or do I herald them? I mean, I get SUCH a kick out of the texts by day... and a LOT of use of the pix by night. But on the other hand, the art of privacy is all but obliterated. Nothing we text or pix is safe. We can't even just get drunk off our ass and send regrettable images and messages.
How do you feel about this? Yay or Nay? Good or bad? Weigh in!
Monday, April 27, 2009
I hope you all have had a good Monday, and that no one’s dying of bacon-induced fever. Justin talked to us about Swine Flu, our nation’s latest fit of paranoia. Let’s hope it goes the way of Bird Flu and West Nile and Anthrax: limited to a scattering of cases here and there but pretty much over-hyped.
Speaking of pigs, though. Let’s talk about men. In his last post… er… shameless plug for his cute friend’s one-man show, Justin discussed… his friend’s one man show. BUT the show is apparently about being a tiny top. Not down there. Down there he probably looks like King Dong. He’s tiny in the vertical way.
Actually, I have a thing about short guys. I’m not that tall myself, but there’s something about a guy my size or slightly shorter that really does it for me. The sad thing about most short guys though is that you can’t tell them they’re cute or they’ll have a conniption fit. They’re sick of being called cute, they’ve been called adorable and sweet and cute all their lives and they just want to be fucking HOT god dammit. Well you’re cute. Deal with it and shut up and kiss me.
I have another thing about the term VGL. For anyone out there who doesn’t troll around manhunt and the like and is scratching her head in confusion, that means Very Good Looking. Most of the time these people are actually just VBLs. Very Bad Liars. I don’t know about the rest of you, but In my opinion, a nice body does not a hot guy make. That’s a mere third of the equation (half of the equation if we’re just talking sex -You can guess that the other thirds are facial attractiveness and personality, and which one becomes moot for hookup candidates).
I find the level of skeez that is implied in the many abbreviations of a gay profile to be rather off-putting. Like so: “ 25y.o. VGL masc top 10.5x7c. DD free, hot, UB2.” Scuse me while I grab my trashcan and retch. It’s bad enough that you’re having anonymous sex, at least use some real English phrases in there and maybe a ruler.
I do wish I lived in NYC so that I could go see the show, though. Especially since there’s to be a (maybe cute?) deaf boy in attendance with a definitely cute interpreter. I myself am hearing impaired, though I don’t know sign language, I always feel a sort of affinity with the deaf because of my own hearing loss, but at the same time I feel a bit left out since I don’t know what they’re saying with those pretty hands.
Probably the most amazing thing I have ever seen was at karaoke (here we go again) one night, this guy gets up on stage, and he asks the drag queen hostess if she’s got a mic stand. I’m thinking, “Now there’s a diva.” Actually, he needed the mic stand so that he could “sing” the song in ASL. He was deaf. So, Belle Aire, that was the drag hostess, she became his mic stand, and led the entire bar in song. Just proof that you can do anything you damn want, you just need to figure out how.
You know what? I'm not done talking about spotlight stealing yet, Jason. No - I'm just getting started. Did you know that we're not the only two gay men on this continent who enjoy the limelight? (Yeah, I knew it too... but just bear with me while I get this intro done, mmmkay?)
My blog buddy (and future Plus One, when he's done with this show!) Lucas Brooks of Top 2 Bottom blog is an actor/student and a vertically challenged top who's finally taking to the stage THIS WEEKEND to rant and air his aggressions in his one-man show, VGL 5'4" Top.
Wait, a gay top blogger who rants? Are we sure this isn't ME in the show?
Yes. Yes we are.
Because I am lucky enough to be a tall top. (Why recent "meet-ups" have thought me to be a bottom are beyond me... (even though my friend and Plus One Alum David of Manchattan's impression of me saying "Oohhhh I only drink vodka with JUICE IN IT!" may be a clue that I refuse to accept.))
You're going to want to go see this show. I mean, even the premise sounds interesting plus fun:
Sick and tired of short jokes and snobbery amongst the gay population, Lucas Brooks, a sexually frustrated and vertically challenged young actor is ready to fight back. Armed with only a laptop and a quick wit, our gallant hero addresses the loaded topic of sex and how it divides us, rather than unites us, in a time of need.The plight of a short top? Imagine it! Every guy you see assumes bottom. You're a pitcher heading to the pen, only to have them throw that stupid mask and glove at you. Imagine being pigeonholed just because you're short enough to fit through a pigeonhole (what the fuck IS a pigeonhole, anyway? Is it tight at least? No? Damn.)
Oh, and Lucas is doing the show in his UNDERWEAR. (ka-chingggggg!)
Well folks, the show is this coming weekend May 1, 2009 through May 3, 2009 (with a reception at 7PM and performance at 8PM.) Tickets will net you less than a single well drink with tip (10 clams). AND none other than YOURS TRULY will be there, so come say hi!.
But wait, if my super sexy presence isn't enough to sell you the ticket, allow me to break this bit of news:
Now, if you love deaf people, this may have already sold you on the theatrical experience. If not, let me tell you WHY this is awesome: on the night that the deaf guy is there, there will have to be a translator.
And that translator is none other than CAPTAINL0VER OF YOUTUBE! You know him, the hot, usually shirtless guy who does sign language music videos to Britney Spears.
I posted about him here and here .
Of course CaptainL0ver is the cherry on TOP (ooooh unavoidable pun - damn you, English language!) of an already gay sundae (one with rainbows and unicorn eye sprinkles).
You're going to want to buy a ticket here.
Join me this weekend as we revel in Lucas' trials and tribulations, and try to get the numbers of other hot gays in the audience.
Hey, Lucas! What do you say about having stickers outside the door that say "Top" "Bottom" and "Verse" so we can pair off without fear of the Zero Hour revelation of two tops or bottoms, resulting in the night ending in a game of Parcheesi?
Hey, just an idea.
See you guys at VGL 5'4" Top!
And, if you just can't get enough of the show, check out Lucas' two-part interview "Inside a VGL 5'4" Top" (LOVE the title hahaha... every OTHER tops dream, right?)
Hey Jason! Welcome aboard. Loved your first post about being a spotlight lover, I guess that admission, as well as wanting to be a Disney animator, and getting our humble beginnings on LiveJournal are just forty more things that we have in common.
But guess what? Something has been recently stealing the spotlight from us. And it's a pig. Or, at least, a disease issuing forth FROM a pig.
Okay, so can someone please tell me when Swine Flu became all the rage? I only just heard about it for the first time yesterday, from my MOTHER. We were stuffing ourselves with manicotti and meatballs at what my family lovingly referred to as "Easter III" because my Aunt has thrown two consecutive parties surrounding Easter with better food than we usually get at Easter.
My mom got worried, tried to explain that pigs were getting people sick, all while cautioning me to carry hand sanitizer, to wash my hands at every opportunity, to chop off my hands if I couldn't find a sink, but not before I chopped off my brother's hands first (she can't trust him with sharp blades) and to not lick my hands after riding the subway (silly Mom! I cut out the middle man and simply LICK THE SUBWAY!)
Anyway, it was odd that MY MOM was telling ME about a deadly flu. Usually the flow of information goes like this:
The People who Make Pocky and Cuttlefish Chips
How did I miss out on a possible epidemic/pandemic? It's not like I'm detached from the world! I knew Bea Arthur was dead mere minutes after she kicked the bucket! (Did the SWINES get her!?) I know about the possible Verizon/Apple deal. Between my Twitter, Facebook, and Google Reader, I have so much NEW information that I'm beginning to forget old information, like my name and the Da Vinci Code (the actual code, not the bad book/movie... that's burned into my skull forever.)
But no, no mention of Swine Flu until my Mom was on the verge of all-out panic and hard tears over ricotta cheese cake and fresh pineapple ("how do we know if a pig touched the pineapple!?")
It's not that I'm upset my Mom scooped me. She lords over her domain - which is a domain of paralyzing fear that everything in this world (imagined and real) is conspiring against her to take my brother and I away from her before she can die first and have us deliver tear-filled eulogies over her open casket.
Regardless, now Swine Flu is suddenly all the rage. Just this morning I noticed people wearing masks on the street. Others are asking if they should stay away from bacon, sausage, and bareback sex with pigs.
Apple is coming up with the iFlu - a strain of the flu that's three times more expensive and that everyone will try to steal from you on the subway. Microsoft, conversely has developed their own strain, which somehow makes you healthier (and is completely incompatible with Avian Flu 2007).
But guess what I found out? This isn't the first time we've shat our knickers about Swine Flu! Check out these fantastic vintage Swine Flu fear ads. This was back when people could say cigarettes had vitamin C, and could outright threaten your very DEMISE on television.
I especially love the eerie music and horrifying visuals of everyone perishing from the Babe Virus in their beds...
First chickens, then pigs. Bovine flu next anyone? Nah... let's be adventurous! I want to be cautioned about "Otter Flu" or "Marmoset Flu" or even "Dodo Flu"... yeah, you make sense of THAT one!
I’m Jason, and I’ve known Justin for about five or six years now via his former blog-home, livejournal. He seems to be under the impression that I’m thoughtful and witty enough to be contributing to this new venture… but we’ve never actually met, so who knows, really.
I took a facebook test recently, and sometimes the way in which these things cut right through the b.s., down to my very soul are alarming. The test was “In your group of friends, what kind of friend are you?” or some such. I was not, as I had imagined myself to be “the parent of the group,” or “the mature one,” but in fact…. I’m the attention whore. “the performer.”
Slightly cloudy memories of singing (howling) “Out Tonight” at karaoke (or my other hit, “Summer of ’69”) seem to confirm this notion. Going further back, I remember inviting (forcing) my two girlfriends in fourth grade to come over and rehearse (for whom we were rehearsing was never quite clear) the Time Warp dance from Rocky Horror. I had gotten ahold of my mother’s vinyl record of the show after becoming obsessed with the dance at my surrogate big sis’ bat mitzvah party.
Locked even farther away in the caverns of my memory are the home videos. Those home videos. The ones of me in a leotard (a silver leotard) and mouse ears dancing to nothing less than a Christ bloody disco remix of “Memory” from Cats. Disco AND showtunes. It was seven minutes long, my mom used to work out to it in aerobics class in the 80’s. It was my favorite fucking song, next to the ten minute version of “I Will Survive.” Which I made my other surrogate big sis play in the car on the way to karate lessons. On repeat. Sometimes interrupted by “R-E-S-P-E-C-T.”
What is it about the gay gene that stirs up this penchant for theatrics in some of us queer kids? This spotlight loving, attention craving, “watch me, look at me!” feeling that leads gay boys from all across the Midwest to my hometown of L.A. in search of superstardom? It’s responsible for half of our waitstaff at the cheesecake factory, for populating the backgrounds of T.V. and the big screen, for all shades of mediocrity… and for Chris Crocker.
Last summer I was sitting in the semi-darkness of a local mall movie theatre with my aunt, my mother, and my grandmother (the same group who took me to see The First Wives’ Club as a small gay child). We were waiting for the travesty that was the Sex and the City movie to begin. My aunt turns to me, I think some big huge washed out L.A. headshot of a richer-than-most nobody popped up on the screen and so she said “You should be an actor!” I snorted and said yes, that’s just what this city needs, another gay waiter.
No, as much as I clearly adore the stage, I have no illusions that it will return the affection. Luckily, I was born holding a crayon. I don’t have a memory far enough back during which making art was not a part of my life. At my kindergarten graduation when they asked me “What do you want to be when you grow up?” I told the roomful of parents that I was going to be an animator for Disney. Three years later my brother said the same thing and my parents had to shush me when I exclaimed “HE COPIED ME!”
So now I’m a supersenior at ArtCenter College of Design in Pasadena. Supersenior actually doesn’t mean I’m super. It means I’m taking longer than usual to get the hell out into the real world. But it’ll happen, God willing, within the year, and I’m determined to make good on my promise as a little gay kindergarten graduate to work for the mouse.
SO that’s me, basically. I hope you enjoy my company this week!
A big thank you to last week's Plus One, Shawn Hollenbach, who filled in at a moment's notice and brought us laughs and opinions with the best of my Plus One Alums.
Oh, did you miss any of last week's fun? Be sure to check out my NEW weekend post, This Just In, a run-down of the full week's posts, to see what you missed.
This week on the blog we fly to where Becky flew in from to find our next Plus One. Jason Shorr and I have been friends for years and years, yet we've never had the chance to meet. I plan to change this when I visit the Left Coast this coming July.
How is this possible?
We met in a magical place, one that I would say is slowly dying a dreadful death (though he might disagree). No it's not Manhunt or DudesNudes (and I don't think you'd find him there, even if you tried!) That place is better known as Livejournal.
After years of blogging and commenting on one-another's posts, this week Jason and I finally get to team up and blog as one! Cross-coastally. I'm looking forward to it, and I hope he is too. Stick around won't you?
Los Angeles, CA
My Site/ Sites:
My online portfolio
What I might post about:
Thank god it’s spring break and I’ll be up to a lot of shenanigans. I have my first art show coming up on Tuesday, and I always have fresh ammo for dating stories. Any pop culture moment that should decide to happen during my week and I’ll be on top of that too!
What I love:
Art/design, good drinks, film, reading (currently a WWII novel written virtually as it was happening, by a Jew, no less.) music! I’ll also be going to the Rufus gig that Wednesday so that may make the blog as well. I love apple gizmos, the beach and the heat now that it’s summer… and karaoke. Lots of it.
What I hate:
Hate is a strong word…. But I highly dislike slow or confused drivers, flakey people, pretentiousness… wait, why do I live in LA again? I dislike the socially inept- poor manners, no tact. I do hate it when people are overly negative and down on themselves, and make no effort towards changing.
My Last Word:
So basically, I’m an art student following my childhood dream of working for the mouse. I have a wealth of dating anecdotes that never stop flowing in (so how wealthy am I, really?). I’m a true Sagittarian, it seems- a free spirit- but someday someone’s going to be talented with a lasso, and I won’t mind.
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Welcome back to another segment of recently renamed "This Just In" (special thanks to blog (and real life) buddy David - owner of Manchattan for the re-brand). For those of you new to this, This Just In will fill you in on everything you may have missed this past week on Justin Plus One. Here we go!
And there you have it, lovers. Another fun-tastic week on Justin Plus One comes to a close. See you bright and early tomorrow morning with our new Plus One!
Friday, April 24, 2009
What ever happened to Jerry Springer by the way? Thanks be to Google, I found out that his show is still running AND it's going green! WHAT? What would they do to be more green? Use the toothless fat man's rage to run the lights for the studio? The paternity tests are printed on recycled paper? Wouldn't it just be a great green effort if they just cancelled the show? What's even worse is that Jerry Springer's IMDB page is down today (Friday Evening)!
Well ladies and gentleman, it's time for me to go! If you're not doing anything this Saturday check out Closet Cases! It's hot Closet Cases, we have Diana Yanez from Logo's Outlaugh on Wisecracks and Cyndi Lauper's True Color Tour. We also have a true veteran of the mic, Mike Singer from the here! Networks' Topical and Mr. Patrick from the BBC and the Aspen Comedy Festival. Last but certainly not least, back by popular demand, Dave Rubin, creator of Hot Gay Comics on the here! Networks will share his coming out adventures!
Also if you ever want to get a drink or laugh together! Look me up at http://www.shawnhollenbach.com/ or add me on Facebook! Justin and I will probably getting hammered sometime soon so I hope to see you out!
Almost one month ago TO THE DAY I introduced the lot of you to CaptainL0ver, a YouTube web celeb. And you loved him. How could you not? He looks like Freddy Prinze Jr. He knows fluent sign language, which he uses while dancing SHIRTLESS to Britney Spears.
Really, it's like God, prior to creating him, went through the checklist of things that would make us fall in love with him, and checked off every box.
Well, aren't we a lucky bunch? Because CaptainL0ver has released YET ANOTHER Britney Spears sign language video. And this time he's more shirtless than ever!
And it only helps matters that he's dancing to my Slutty Spring Anthem!
Okay, I need to air out a grievance (you know, also known as a rant... which I rarely, if ever do!)
Plus One Shawn's fawning review of HBO's Grey Gardens makes me happy, but it also touches a nerve deep within me. I'm sure that the movie is fabulous, and I'm sure I'll be having a Grey Gardens party at my place. (Everyone will have to come in costume - I'm going to be Brooks and my friend Todd will be coming as "Clothes in a God-Damned Machine".)
But, dammit, I'm pissed! When I first heard that HBO was doing a Grey Gardens movie I probably thought what every self-respecting (aka, shameful) Broadway queen did - HBO was going to produce a movie musical!
I mean, the pieces were in place:
1. It was just long enough after Grey Gardens left Broadway, and the tour was well underway.
2. Movie musicals are SO hot right now.
3. They were showing the past, present, and future - much like the musical did.
Imagine my horror and sadness when I saw the trailer... no singing! Or, rather, SOME singing but, dammit, it wasn't a song I had ever heard before!
But no, I paced myself. This was not necessarily the final say. To hoodwink straight people into going to see a movie where everyone goes gay and sings high notes, movie studios have been known to HIDE the fact that the show is a musical. An excellent example would be the Sweeney Todd trailer, which cobbled together ALL 2 minutes of the movie where the cast didn't sing in order to scrape by with the footage they needed:
Masterful work! Literally EVERY spoken word in the movie was used for this trailer. I can only imagine the straight football team guys (ones with no gay friends to warn them!) who came to see a bloodbath only to be bitchslapped by Sondheim's dulcet tones and complex vocal arrangements.
So yes, I decided maybe HBO was NOT so stupid as to release a Grey Gardens that was not the musical. I had seen a story like this before - where a company released what should have been a musical as a non-musical... attend the tale of Les Miserables.
Released in the height of Les Miserables-Mania, this movie was ALSO not a musical. I mean, COME ON PEOPLE! You even MENTION the "musical seen by over 40 million people." Assholes. The second I heard that there would be no bawdy renditions of Master of the House, I protested by not going. I'm sure they felt my wrath.
But turns out that my worst fears were right. This Grey Gardens is indeed NOT a musical. Why!? Why not!? Why would you tease me (and so many others) in such a way? Sad state of affairs, HONEST.
Okay, I will still watch Grey Gardens (just as I did the documentary). BUT! I'll be pausing the movie at the right spots and putting the cast recording on so my friends and I can all jump to our feet and perform the PROPER version of "Revolutionary Costume". And I know you will too ;0)
For those gen Yers not in musical theater who aren't in-the-know... In the 1970s, documentary film makers, Albert and David Maysles put together a film about Edith & Edith Bouvier Beale. They were related to Jackie Bouvier Kennedy Onassis. Check out the trailer below to have you catch up if you're unawares...
Thursday, April 23, 2009
It's the size of a box of gum, and weighs even less - yet films in High-Def for the web. And it has a cute little switch on the side that, like a swiss army knife, triggers a little jack that hooks right into your computer for rapid upload and editing.
I went on a great adventure (on par, if not beyond the one Pee-Wee experienced) which I don't have the time to recount here. Needless to say it involved trekking to 13 stores in NYC, dealing with Hasidic Jews, and chasing my camera around a Pee-Wee Herman's breakfast-machine-like contraption at the store where I finally found it.
Well worth the adventure, though! Since buying my FLIP I have run around this city making videos. Some so terrible I promptly deleted them, others I have put on YouTube for the viewing pleasure of thousands.
Currently I have almost an hour of footage from the Broadway Beauty Pageant that I must upload and edit to something far shorter and more captivating in time for my first ever post as the official Broadway Correspondent over at Homo-Neurotic.com.
Here are a few of my best and most recent works, in true HD quality (so be sure to blow them up full screen and hit that "HQ" button at the bottom right of the player!)
The Dreams Come True Parade at Disney World (highlights)
Part 1 of the SpectroMagic Parade at Disney World
Part 2 of the SpectroMagic Parade (I would never leave you hanging)
My own version of Cribs - showing off my Mom's new house in Florida (with a cameo by my Mom, Stepfather and brother, Jared Zirilli!)
New Years Eve Party highlights (complete with Single Ladies Dance Break)
12 Days of Christmas Party - complete with hot gay guys making out!
This is a highlight from my first set on the here! Networks "Hot Gay Comics" I talk about Pennsylvania, my twin brother and year book pictures.
Here is a sample of the webshow I used to do called "Busted." This is from November of last year so the celeb jokes are stale. That week I got nautical while Daniel Nardicio brings you his Celebrity Gang Bang and QBoy presents the Busted 10.
This next video is a short called "Second Guessing Grandma." It was directed by Bob Giraldi featuring Tony nominee Kathleen Chalfont written by Eddie Sarfaty. It's a great film and was so much fun to take part!