Tuesday, February 1, 2011

These Jeans Will Turn Any Straight Man Gay!

Have you ever heard of "pegging your boyfriend?"

I haven't, and I'll tell you why: it's a specifically STRAIGHT term, used by girls. The definition, basically, is when a girl turns the tables on her boyfriend, gives him a rim job, and then either fingers him or fucks him with a dildo or vibrator.

AKA: we peg our gay boyfriends every day, and call it "getting lucky".

Anyway, do you know who ELSE had no idea that Pegging Your Boyfriend means showing him that an "Out" hole can also be an "In" hole?

GAP!

It's true, my friends. Check out their NEWEST style of jean:


Now, there is room for confusion here. Does the new Pegged Boyfriend jean convince straight men to take it up the butt? Like, via some sort of chemical in the dye that seeps into their skin and turns them into a bottom?

Or does it merely LABEL boyfriends who have allowed their girlfriends to daintily violate their nether-regions?

If it's the first one, I recommend you head over to GAP, invest in a dozen pairs, and start gifting all of your sexy, straight friends and co-workers.

If the second scenario is the case, be sure to spend a longer time checking out the butts of straight men you know. If you recognize a pair of Pegged Boyfriend jeans, perhaps it's time you take them out for a few too many drinks. Luck may be on your side!

Either way, more proof that all of GAP's clothing is designed by gay men, and that somewhere in the halls of GAP corporate, there's a small group of straight interns and janitors laughing their asses off (or rubbing what's left of their asses ruefully).

UPDATE
My good friend Erin had this to say upon reading the post:

To that I say: So first the girl tops her boyfriend, and then she steals his jeans? That's even more cruel than the first scenario. Because now there's some poor, bow-legged straight boy hobbling around town in his undies, weeping and shivering, while his girlfriend sits at brunch in his jeans, talking about how much he blubbered when she gave it to him good and hard like the bitch he is.

- Justin Luke

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