Monday, March 7, 2011
Another Strike-Out for Fab.com
1. Fabulis isn't Fabulous, It Just Sucks A Lot
2. Fuck You Fab.com!
In those posts you will see my gripes with this service. Namely, that it is a thin piece of plastic thrown on top of Facebook with little-to-no actual value involved.
It's also a bit of a SPAM Monster (new Gaga album?) that emails and Facebooks you relentlessly, telling you about things you didn't do while on there, and telling you that you've won BITS, their arbitrary point system that sends you piles of BITS since each is worth about 1/8th of a penny.
Well, one of their latest ventures which also got my goat was the FAB DEAL OF THE DAY. A total ripoff of Groupon, the DEAL OF THE DAY offered you things you normally wouldn't need, at discounted prices you can basically find anywhere if you Googled enough.
Again, it pissed me off. It was a ripoff of yet another popular idea, and it was just "gayed" up a bit, with rainbows painted on the sides. Well, guess what? It didn't work. Which I predicted from day one.
The gay gerbils that spend their time on Fab aren't looking to buy trips to Maui, Fab, they just aren't. I could smell the upcoming failure of the FAB DEAL OF THE DAY like a pile of cooked hamburger when they somehow suckered Lucky's Burgers of NYC into giving away a $9 meal for 75 cents. I feel bad for Lucky... they didn't need Fab. They have two prominent locations in the hearts of Chelsea and Hell's Kitchen. They did Fab a favor, and I am DYING to see if Fab's involvement helped them a lick.
Anyway the email that Fab.com sent out today was a terse and vague one:
"FYI. We will shortly be replacing fab deals with a new product which will feature more than just gay deals. We will be discontinuing the gay deals of the day immediately. As such, it is important that you pick up your deal coupons from http://fab.com/deals/my-deals/ immediately."
So the DEAL OF THE DAY is dead, folks. Get your cheap burger or "$3 of gay marriage equality" while you still can.
OH! And another interesting bit of news: they are killing off the FAB BIT! Wait, you say, so you won't get SPAMMED ANY LONGER? Oh silly silly gay boy... what are you smoking? They're just CHANGING THE NAME to FAB DOLLARS.
Why? Because it sounds more REAL. But I won't be fooled: I'm sure Fab Dollars will have the same value (aka: no value whatsoever) as the FAB BITS. Mark my words. Watch them and you tell me if I'm wrong.
Listen, you may think I have a ridiculous hate for Fab.com. You are right. I find it disingenuous. Give me something original and worthwhile and, as all of you know, I will trumpet it victoriously and share it with thousands and thousands of people. I am ALL ABOUT sharing things that I know my friends will love.
But I cannot, in good conscience, recommend Fab.com to anyone. In fact, it's the first thing I've ever encountered where I am moved to RECOMMEND PEOPLE AWAY FROM IT. Again I implore you to save yourselves! Fab.com is useless if you're on Facebook and have at least 200 gay friends. You'll get the same exact experience with NO SPAM WHATSOEVER.
And Fab.com is just a stolen stream of your "Fab Friends" Facebook newsfeeds anyway. As I said before: no added value, and a lot of added annoyance.
Big Deal of the Day Death and Fab Bit transformation or not, my recommendation remains the same: You're Fabulous enough, so stay the fuck away from Fab.com.
- Justin Luke