Thursday, May 5, 2011
6 Reasons that Long Distance Relationships Don't Work
Yesterday I put a question to the members of GG20: What should I blog about today? Of all the answers, one submitted by the sexy Tian Parrell caught my eyes. He told me to write about Long Distance Relationships, and whether they work or not.
This is a great topic that I will probably desecrate as I blog about it here. Nevertheless.
Of course, like every question you can ask, a solid answer is not necessarily the best bet. There are gray areas in everything. However, if forced to answer, I would have to say that, on the most part, no. No distance relationships do not work. But that's just me, and I'm sure lots of people have MADE them work, and like them just fine.
Here are some points I want to give in case you are considering embracing an LDR:
1. Did this relationship BEGIN at a distance? This is the silliest kind of relationship I have ever come across. It reminds me of when I was in High School and I had a girlfriend in New Jersey. New Jersey! Girlfriend! Everything about that was a circus built inside of a zoo. If you've never met in person, how could you call it a relationship? And, if you have only spent a few days together before splitting with distance, how can you know how you'd work together?
2. Is there going to be an END to this distance? Much like an object falling, that must sometime soon collide with a surface, much is the same with a Distance Relationship: When will it NO LONGER be at a distance? Someday, some time, you will have to converge together somewhere. And who will make the sacrifice, leave their day job and life and bunk up with their mate? And why not do it right now? If there's no foreseeable end to the distance... what exactly are you working towards?
3. Distance Makes the Heart Not Realize Shit. I was in a long-distance relationship once. And it was tough! But we called each other every day and webcammed to get off and all of that. It was because of college, so we had a definitive end-date to the distance. But when that date came, we discovered something else: we were not very good at seeing each other every day for long periods of time. Within 1 year our relationship had sizzled to a skeleton. Distance made it seem like we were perfect for eachother, and proximity blew THAT assumption to bits.
4. Trust is Tough. No matter WHAT you think, all sorts of sneaky stuff might be happening when you and your mate aren't skyping. Granted, this is the case in proximity relationships, as well. But still, when you spend such a long time away from each other, you can get away with all sorts of sneaky stuff. And when you don't have to look your guy in the face as you bed down at night, it may not even make you feel as guilty when you transgress.
5. It ain't cheap! Unless you're happy to stare at each other's pixelated faces each day, and deal with iPhones dropping your calls regularly, you're going to have to see each other. And this costs money! A lot of money depending on the distance. Are you willing to sink your money into plane fare, bus fare, and all of that?
6. Time is spent. A lot of it. On the bus. On the plane. In a boat. On a goat. All of this traveling back and forth is going to take a LOT of your time that could be spent doing things like going out and having sex with a boyfriend who lives in the same city or town as you. Are you ready to throw hours away for bumpy flights and buses? It might not end up being bad, JK Rowling apparently wrote the entire first Harry Potter while riding on the bus. So it may work out for you.
These are my 6 reasons why a Long Distance Relationship is a bad idea. It's not that it's impossible. It's that it gives you a hell of a lot of challenges for what it's worth. And relationships when you see eachother regularly are DIFFICULT ENOUGH. Do you want to add more challenges? And postpone additional challenges?
Isn't there somebody closer to you? Have you even checked? It might be worth doing so. Or, if you're set on your mate in a different area code, I wish you luck. It ain't easy! But who knows? It may be worth the trouble.
- Justin Luke