Damn ye fates! Curse ye gods! This summer slipped by without what I would rightly deign THE SONG OF THE SUMMER. And then yesterday, what COULD have been that song appeared. It's called Domino. It's sung by Jessie J.
What? Never heard of her? THAT'S THE FUCKING PROBLEM! This song would have SURELY kicked her to #1 on the Pop Billboards. I can feel it in my BONES. But NOOOOOOO bitch had to wait for it to leak out NOW?
Come on, people! Can't you smell a Song of the Summer when it's waving its sand-coated titties in your face?
It has EVERYTHING a summer song needs. The twangy guitar. The high notes (handled by a chick who can HIT those high notes). The infectious beat that matches the speed of passing highway signs as you speed to the beach.
FUCK FUCK FUCK!
It was a recipe for success that stayed in the kitchen too damn long. It was co-penned with Dr. Luke, who is the fucking best thing to happen to pop music EVER. And it was originally pitched to Katy Perry, who must have been dropped on her head last year to be so dumb as to have passed it up. Could you imagine if it was Katy Perry's DOMINO and it had dropped alongside Teenage Dream? It may have seriously given California Gurls some serious competition.
Alas, Katy Perry didn't take it. Jessie J. did, but she sat on it far too long. So now we have this amazing Song of the Past Summer as the weather gets too cold to properly enjoy it.
God dammit. Whatever. Listen to the song. Rip it to your computer since you can't download it anywhere yet. And mourn the loss of the Song of the Summer. Guess we'll give this one to LMFAO, since no one else offered up a healthy enough competitor.
<3 Justin Luke