Wednesday, September 28, 2011
A Hot Meth Mess: A +1 Guest Post
In case you haven't realized, Crystal Meth is one of the stupidest fucking things you could EVER get involved with. It seems to me that today's younger gay generation is not interested in this lethal drug, but I may just be detached.
Either way, if you're considering taking a kick of Crystal, take a look at this story before you do. And if you've tried it already, read this, and then ask someone to help you stop.
Your life is worth A LOT more than the high you'll get from meth. Seriously.
I spent about 2 years addicted to crystal meth. During that time, my life gradually deteriorated to the point where I was unemployed and living in a $400-per-month squalor. It happened gradually, of course. First not having a job, then having to give up my apartment and find a place that was the absolute minimum that would keep me off the streets. By that point I was "drying out" but the time between quitting drugs and when I was able to actually go and apply for jobs (the "withdrawal" period) was the roughest I've ever had it.
And of course, in these circumstances, I felt what it was like to be unemployed and poor. And I have to say, it's a lot more than that little online game, SPENT, takes into account.
So what are some of the things I remember about that experience?
- Couldn't afford to renew my driver's license, so driving anywhere was being constantly fearful. I basically DIDN'T drive except to go to job interviews.
- Couldn't afford clothes, and for a brief period after I lost my "nice" apartment and before I found the crappy apartment I had to move into, I spent about 2 weeks living out of my car. Living out of my car meant almost all of my possessions got ditched. By the time I was able to do interviews, I had one (1) set of "nice" (read: remotely professional) clothes. Which needed to be washed... in a coin-operated laundermat.
- Couldn't afford contact solution or related accessories. Couldn't afford to get new glasses. So had to go to interviews either faking it (i.e. unable to see properly) or wearing visibly damaged "back up" glasses.
- Many times, I didn't have money for gasoline, but HAD to go to a job interview. I would deliberately over-draw my debit card at the gas pump, because it was literally my only option. THIS IS HOW debt escalates, because people have to make decisions like this. Overdraw Fee: $20+. I would try to drive a lot, and refill multiple times in the same day, so that I could get the most out of my overdraft fee.
- Started losing sleep because the apartment that I was in was infested with bugs. No sleep means looking visibly "rough" at job interviews, as well as slower reaction times and generally seeming not "with it". Complain to the landlord? Slumlords don't care.
- All I could afford was cheap food, which means food that is terrible for you. It's hard to maintain a perfect body when you have to eat pasta every night because it's cheap and filling. LOL
Now, I was lucky, because at the point when this happened (early 00's) I already had an amazing education under my belt, and so I was worth a "risk" for an employer. At interviews I was ALWAYS asked "Why 2 years since your last job?" and I used some kind of "trying to find myself and a new direction in life" line --- who knows if they bought it.
But I cannot even IMAGINE the chances of becoming re-employed if I hadn't had the education and work experience under my belt BEFORE I had this happen to me. There would have been almost no chance that a company would take a risk on me. Not in my bedraggled suit, broken glasses, red eyes from sleeping in a crap apartment.
It was definitely an experience... I guess I can honestly say that I'm "glad" it happened at least in one sense: having those memories ABSOLUTELY gives me a broader perspective on life now, as a result.
So yeah. Save yourself the trouble and skip the Crystal, boys. I am happy to report that the anonymous writer of this story is alive, well, and employed. He looks GREAT, too. But you might not be so lucky. Stay clear. Stay smart. Stick with the lighter stuff.
If you've already got a Crystal Meth problem, talk to someone you trust. Ask for help. You don't have to fight it alone... but it's better to start the fight today, and not later. Each day is one day harder. You have my love, and support. You can do it. So do it.
- Justin Luke