TheBlackoutBlog’s Top 5 Grindr DON’Ts: A +1 Guest Post

The following post is so awesome that I'm not even going to waste time introducing it. It comes from my good buddy Kareem over at The Blackout Blog. If you like it as much as I do, be sure to hop over and check out the rest of his stuff!

xo 
Justin Luke
BoiParty.com

Grindr is the leading location-based service for gay social networking, boasting over 3 million users. The gist: you make a profile (with text and a picture), and it gives you a grid of other users' profiles and distances from you. It can be fun to see who's on and who's near (OMG, I had no idea my neighbor was gay!), but, as happens when humans are added to the equation, users don't always get the best use out of the service, often to the chagrin of their fellow users.

So here's a quick guide of things NOT to do when you're on Grindr.

Yawn.

DON'T greet more than once in a short period of time. A greeting is meant to initiate a conversation. Since Grindr keeps a log of your conversation, keep it continuous. Another greeting only slows the conversation down.

Endless wit.

Instead: Try asking an open-ended question that will elicit a response, like "How was your weekend?" or "I'm slammed at work. How about you?"

Things I do at the beach: tan, swim, get paid for sex, water ski.

DON'T expect to get much response without a picture. Several profiles explicitly say something to the effect of "I won't respond without a [face] pic." The point of the app is to encourage interaction with people, and part of that interaction is visual, even if it's not based on attraction.

In a Shakespearian sort of way.

Instead: Not into broadcasting your countenance to all of Grindr? Try creating mystery/intrigue by using part of your face, your body or a thought-provoking image. Send a face pic once you've established trust and/or interest. Or just post a fucking face pic.

Believe me, I've looked.

DON'T give up on trying to meet new guys because you're not getting messages while at home or at work. If you've been on Grindr for a while in these places, you’re likely developing what I call Geo-Grindr Fatigue, which basically means you've exhausted your resources in that area.

Glad we got that out of the way.

Instead: Use the block feature. Let's face it: if he hasn't talked to you after a month of seeing you in his grid, chances are he never will. So block him and everyone else you're not talking to day in and day out. New guys will show up in your grid, replacing those you're not talking to, and you'll get more use out of the app. Also, don’t forget to sign on when you’re in a new neighborhood! Grindr guys love fresh meat faces.

Sometimes three question marks just isn't enough.

DON'T try to post nude pics, speedo pics, underwear pics (even the waistband), bulge pics or pics that show that impressive imprint you make in your favorite pair of mesh shorts. You'll be cropped, asked to pick a new pic or banned from the app altogether. Grindr is under the watchful eye of the Apple Store, so even with the 18+ rating, they have to enforce Steve Jobs' lingering puritanical standard (which I doubt even that Tim Cook queen will change).

iOS 4 iOS only. Not a bigot, just a preference.

Instead: Choose a pic that will grab your target's attention in the middle of the 20-person grid you'll be presented in. You can send as many x-rated pics as you like through the chat feature.

Try to return a compliment with a compliment.

DON'T harass guys who won't answer your messages right away. The general rule among guys on Grindr (which I don't agree with at all) is "If I don't answer, I'm not interested." Also, some guys only sign on once a day or every few days. Maybe he hasn't even seen your message yet.

A lot can happen in twenty minutes.

Instead: send no more than a couple of messages sans response (and a pic or two if pics are part of your initiation game). Then move on to the next guy. His response may be a pleasant surprise by the time it comes.

Your point is as crystal clear as your hole.

Now, this is, by no means, an exhaustive list. Hell, I could rattle off 10 more DON’Ts just from my personal pet peeves (like sending your ass pic as your opening line). But people have diverse Grindr goals that require different methods. No matter what you're looking for, these helpful hints will no doubt enhance your user experience and help you find what you're looking for.

What are some of your Grindr DON'Ts? Leave a comment and let me know.

Get more Grindr tips right here, sluts.

- TheBlackoutBlog Man