Monday, February 13, 2012
Valentine's Day is for Single People
How do I know? Because every single post I see in my Facebook newsfeed and Tweet Stream is comprised of single people belly-aching, crying, bitching, whining, and lamenting the fact that they do not have a sweetheart to call their own on this completely arbitrary holiday.
The Valentine's Day haters (all single) often have one of 3 reactions to the day in question:
1. Sadness, complete with cookie-eating
2. Vicious hatred, complete with jokes about how dumb the holiday is
3. Blind hope that by NEXT February 14th, they will have a Valentine
You know who's strangely absent from all of this Valentine's Day hubbub?
People in relationships.
Let me be more specific: PEOPLE IN LONG-TERM RELATIONSHIPS.
For guys who have recently found themselves in a relationship, Valentine's Day is a HUGE deal. Mostly because of all of the V-Days they have spent alone hating the holiday while eating four sleeves of Fig Newtons. They NEED to make sure that everyone knows they get to be in the Valentine's Day club. THEY MADE IT! It's a huge deal.
But it isn't actually.
Allow me to make a bold statement: Valentine's Day is for single people.
And not in a good way. In an emo, mopey, wrist-slitty type of way.
Take a look at Facebook and you will see V-Day being celebrated by recently coupled people, and derided by single people. You will hear close to no peep from anyone in a longer-term relationship.
Why? Because after one go-round in the Valentine's Day Club, we elected not to refresh our membership. We're too busy being in love and not really giving a damn what day it is. If you were to wait til Valentine's Day to give your sweetie something special, not only would it be predictable, you'd also be in a lot of trouble. Because that means you left them to their own devices for the other 364 days. No.
People in rewarding, meaningful, long-term relationships have other things to do.
For example: I've been with my partner Joe for almost 3 years now. If it weren't for all the upset tweets and updates we're seeing, we probably wouldn't even know what holiday tomorrow is. Because we get each other gifts and surprise each other with tickets to shows and goodies and meals ALL THE TIME. What's better than coming home on Just-Any-Old-Kind-of-Day to find your boyfriend with a wrapped present for you?
A week ago, Joe made me meet him in Lincoln Center by the fountain, not even telling me where we were going. He then took me to a movie I've been dying to see. It's more meaningful and romantic when you do something like that out of the spontaneity and kindness of your own heart, versus when your Google calendar tells you to. It's what you do in a relationship, people! You celebrate every damn day, you don't wait until the card companies tell you it's time to grab a chocolate box and bunch of flowers.
So listen, single friends. Stop getting so down on yourself about tomorrow, and not having a Valentine. And, recently coupled friends, stop cheering so loudly about it, rubbing it in the faces of your single friends. It's just a day. Start worrying about the other 364 days of the year. No one likes a braggart and no one likes a whiner. So cut it out!
Because, if everything works out in your favor, and you end up someday in something meaningful and wonderful, you won't give half a shit about Valentine's Day.
- Justin Luke