Tuesday, October 30, 2012
DATE + DUMP: Drunk, Drag, and Marriage!
The Paige Maker strikes again! Showbiz Spitfire Paige Turner waves her magic wand and answers questions from her fans, stalkers and random twinks!
Don’t Rain on My Parade! I’m getting serious this week and answering questions about your boyfriend, lover, and future husband!
So I’m embarrassed to write this, but the guy I have been dating for the past 3 months gets beyond drunk almost every time we go out. It starts off fun, but then he gets extremely violent at times and very angry. Of course it’s the booze talking, but the stuff he says really scares the shit out of me. I feel stuck because he never remembers the incident (like putting his hand through a window) and for some insane reason I have fallen in love with him. What the fuck do I do?
Dear Being Pulled in the Wrong Direction,
Anger seems to come out most often when people drink and especially overdrink. The anger is always there in that person, because of something deeply rooted that they have not dealt with. Hello, don’t we all drink to have fun and forget about our problems? Yes of course we all so. But forgetting about our problems is one thing and completely not dealing with them or remembering them is a whole other story. An angry drunk is one that you need to stay cautious of. You want to be boyfriends or partners with this person, not a caretaker and definitely not a therapist. It is early enough that you can have your heart broken and get out before continuing with Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. But if this person is reciprocating feelings towards you, you are never fully gonna have what you want unless they love themselves and get help. You want someone who IS going to remember and be fun and make you feel worth it. Love yourself and put yourself first and you will find the answer you need, which I think you already know : )
I feel weird asking you this, but I’ve started doing drag and feel like I will never find a boyfriend if I continue doing it. A guy said he used to like me until I started doing drag. I really enjoy it and have been able to express myself in ways that I haven’t before.
Any advice for this newbie?
Dear New Queen on the Block,
I find the answer to this question could go so many ways. How many people don’t want to date someone cuz they’re an actor, a waiter, or a bottom? Goddamn people have their preconceived notions about things. Do you like doing drag? Yes, I can tell. And maybe next week you’ll never want to do it again. But for now you’re expressing yourself and hopefully having fun in the process. When you are secure with what you do, it will attract others to you. I’m not talking about tranny chasers, but I’m talking about gay boys who really aren’t hung up on stereotypes. There’s probably quite a few boys that wish they could click their heels and wear a 2 piece and because of your self-expression will probably find you very attractive. The best bit of advice I can give you is try to always be you when wearing that wig. Even in a pair of Spanx you can be the superstar you envision yourself to be and probably a badass boyfriend in the process. Get it girl!
First off I love your shows- I even met my current boyfriend at one! Here’s the problem though. We have been dating for 2 years and this summer I proposed to him. We are monogamous and clearly in love, but he said NO. He said even though gays should be allowed to get married, he never wants to get married. This is all I’ve ever wanted and now I feel like I’ve ruined everything by proposing and yet I’m really hurt that this is his take on things. Should I not be with him because he doesn’t want to tie the knot?
Dear Wedding Bell Blues,
Congrats on 2 years! And thank you, my shows are pretty kick ass. I’m hoping if you’re on a Justin Luke site, you’re hopefully old enough to remember or know who Goldie Hawn is? The actress. Kate Hudson’s mother? She has been with actor Kurt Russell since 1983 and they have never gotten married. They’re Hollywood royalty and straight and yet they choose not to get married but have a great partnership. The marriage thing is so new for many gay men. It’s still hard to believe that we can even take a walk down the aisle. Many people who grew up in broken homes never want to get married. It scares them that the Cinderfella fairytale will be over once it’s official. I would say give it some time. If this really is the person you are supposed to spend your life with, then it will come around. May I suggest entertaining the domestic partnership rights in the meantime? It doesn’t offer as many rights as marriage, but you will feel a stronger bond and it’s less intimidating on your boy. Plus you’ll want to protect yourself as much as you can as a couple legally. I have a feeling he’ll come around and maybe a little quiet ceremony between the two of you and not the entire family is just what you need. However if you do a big gay wedding, don’t forget Paige Turner does them all the time and is also ordained. My rates are on my website.
If you have a question for the Paige Maker, please write in and if you’re lucky, she’ll respond. Slurp!