Wednesdays at Justin + 6 are Party + Play with the co-director of NYC's number one gay nightlife company, BoiParty and published author of the gay novel Gulliver Takes Manhattan, Justin Luke Zirilli.
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This has to be one of my busiest seasons yet in New York City. My current promotional dance card features FIVE events a week. I know, crazy, right? Every week you can find me breaking my back and in attendance at:
- Broadway Mondays at XL
- Campus Tuesdays at Splash
- So You Think You Can Drag Wednesdays at New World Stages
- 20Something Thursdays at XL
- XL Saturdays at XL
And on the nights I have off, I'm out as well. On Fridays you can very well find me networking and chatting at Industry and Rockit at XL. On Sundays, you know I'll be standing in the back of the 2nd floor at Vlada for my favorite lady, Paige Turner's weekly show, SLURP Sundays.
What this essentially means is that I am out every night meeting and seeing and getting to know people. Unfortunately what this also means is that I will never, ever, ever be able to commit everyone's name to memory. And it sucks.
Believe me, I wish I could remember all of you. But you have your parents to blame. You all have the same names! Davids and Daniels and Johns and Marks and Robs and Justins. SO UNORIGINAL! You should all be ashamed.
Of course, I am only kidding. BUT I am penning this post as an advanced apology to you. I am PRETTY good with names, but I'm not amazing. I've just reached a critical mass in my brain, and there's not much else I can store there. So there is a very good chance that you will come up to me and I won't remember your name. I'll remember YOU, but your name will be as foreign to me as tipping rules in other countries.
But there are some things we can do to fix this. And here they are:
1. DON'T come up to me and say "I know who you are, but you don't remember me".
This is awkward! How am I supposed to come back from that? What on earth am I supposed to say? Then I have to apologize and then I'll be upset and sad and what kind of conversation comes from that?
2. DON'T not come up to me.
I hear from a lot of guys online that they see me and are too nervous to approach. Because I won't know them. Or because I look busy. Or because any other reason. These are ALL dumb reasons. If you see me out you should ABSOLUTELY come say hi to me. Ask anyone! I'm really, really nice. So just do it.
3. DON'T make me guess
I don't want to play games, I want to chat with you and hear how everything's been going! So just give me your name and let's start conversating, yeah?
4. DON'T be offended
I promise you it is not a personal slight that I don't remember you. Just remember, I meet upwards of 100 new people every event I do. That's 500 people a week. Not including outside networking and just crashing into hot people who I invite to my party on the street. THIS IS NOT A JUDGMENT OF YOU. I'm just an old man with a brain steadily approaching Alzheimer's.
5. DO give me your last name.
With all these Leos and Adams and Michaels and Mileys, I have begun to remember people by the original part of them - their last names. If you give me your last name, chances are I will quickly imprint and remember you for next time.
6. DO say hi to me on Facebook chat
I'm online all the time. Drop me an IM! Again, I'm friendly. Plus, if we have a conversation of any kind, there's a greater chance that I will remember you at the event. So do that. Now.
7. DO come out more than once a month
It's this simple: if you only come out once every few months, how am I supposed to remember you? Unless you also chat with me online, my brain will push your name out to make room for the other names I'm trying to remember.
8. DO introduce me to your friends
I can also begin to associate you with the people you hang out with. Plus, I'm really nice! So introduce me to your friends so we can spread that sweet, sweet loving around.
And there we go, friends. Follow these tips and soon enough not only will I know your name, I'll also start flirting shamelessly with you at my parties. And who, I ask you, wouldn't want that?
xo JL
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