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Yesterday night I had a slight status explosion pretty late in the evening. I'll go ahead and share it with you here:
No, I wasn't drunk (proven by the impeccable spelling!) And yes, now that I'm back awake and promoting my weekly events, I still stick staunchly by it.
One thing that gets my goat quicker and harder than a Goat-Getting Machine are nightlife personalities who expect VIP treatment wherever they go. I've seen it one too many times. I've met too many hosts who scoff and say "I don't pay cover, you know that." Too many promoters who stomp and turn red when you don't have a drink ticket for them at one of your parties.
I'll call it SCREAMING VIP.
And I'll say it simply: not cool.
Maybe it's because of the guys who taught me all that I know that I have such a problem with this. I am blessed to be part of a nightlife genealogy that begins with the most legendary promoter in New York City, John Blair, and then passes right on down to his equally legendary partner Alan Picus, and then to me.
I am forever grateful that these two powerful and successful men took me under their wing, taught me everything, and continue working with me today.
One of the greatest things they taught me, however, had very little to do with promoting. No Facebook secrets or Promo flyer strategies or theme ideas (though there are plenty of those, too). No, what Mr. Blair and Mr. Picus taught me was the art of being humble.
If you meet John or Alan at a party, they will NEVER tell you who they are, how powerful and famous they are. They just say "Hi, I'm Alan" or "Hi, I'm John," and will engage you in conversation.
Alan taught me a simple lesson: if I go to a party, and I'm not recognized at the door or bar, that I should open my wallet to pay the cover, and buy myself a drink. Why? Because no one likes a drama queen, and no one likes someone who bitches the equivalent of "DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM!?"
And that's exactly what I do. I'm not going to stand at your door and try texting you for twenty hours. I'm not going to chase you around the club hoping for drink tickets. I will arrive, pay my cover, get a drink or three, and maybe see you around.
I just wish this were a more popular practice. So many nightlife folks expect VIP line-cutting treatment. Free entry. Free drinks. It gets to the point where you wonder: are they as generous with the freebies at their own events, considering how much they expect when they're elsewhere? I doubt it.
Now, I'm not saying that you should ALWAYS pay. If I am offered free entry, or a few drink tickets, I will of course graciously accept. And you can bet your box of buttons that I'll reciprocate in full to the generous benefactor at my own events.
But, seriously? Screaming VIP doesn't make you look VIP. It makes you look desperate. That was another lesson I learned: it's usually the guy screaming the loudest that is the least important person there. The most important people act like normal people, and don't demand your attention.
It's crazy, really, how different this is in the straight and gay worlds.
In the straight world, you show you're VIP by making it rain with dollar bills, buying bottles of Hennessy left and right, and cutting the line to the club because you've basically just bought the club for the night. In the gay world, VIP is perceived as the opposite: you're so sexy/smart/cool/successful that you don't HAVE to pay for ANYTHING.
But it is what it is. All I'll say is this: I'll never expect a damned thing from you at your events. I know you're busy, I know you're working, and I know you're trying to make the event a financial success for all the people involved.
For that reason, I have no problem buying my OWN cocktails.
xo JL
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